


Chats and Demons and Insanity, Oh My!

by green_spear_of_causality88



Category: Haikyuu!!, Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Akaashi is literally only mentioned, Kuroo has some dark humor because he's a depressed homosexual, No beta we die like lilith, and last but not least the ultimate meme: You Should Have Come To Shiratorizawa, baki baki ni ore~, belphie appears later, bokuto has adhd, bokuto is pure and so is beel please protect them, fellas is it gay to kiss the homies?, keep Oikawa and Asmo away from each other, kuroo and bokuto are little shits but the brothers come to love them regardless, kuroo loves annoying lucifer, levi is a gamer + memer + anime nerd, same with Kenma and Oikawa, so many references to be had, solomon is the ultimate memer, wait you mean there's an actual plot to this story???, yes lilith is still very much dead
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:46:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24788707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/green_spear_of_causality88/pseuds/green_spear_of_causality88
Summary: "Bro," Kuroo whispered, confusion written across his face, "What the fuck did we just do?""I don't want to go to jail, bro!" Bokuto wailed. He made for such a funny sight that Kuroo would have teased him about it if the situation wasn't so dire. "All we were trying to do was infiltrate Aoba Johsai's groupchat for a bit and spam them deep-fried memes! Not...whatever the hell this group is!"They both froze as a similar thought occurred to them. It was a thought that was so simple yet so powerful, they were both immediately smitten with it.Kuroo spoke up first, eyes gleaming in the light. "I say we mess with them. This could be fun, after all, and it'll help lessen the painful sting of defeat."Bokuto completely stopped panicking, dropping his arms to stare at Kuroo in awe. "Dude," he breathed, "I had the exact same idea."And so, they set to work.Or: Kuroo and Bokuto manage to hack into a group chat situated in the next dimension and decide to troll them. Chaos and shenanigans ensue.(This is a Obey Me! x Haikyuu!! crossover no one asked for, least of all Lucifer. First couple of chapters will be chatroom-based, and the rest will flow as an actual story.)
Comments: 81
Kudos: 162





	1. *Hacker Voice* We're In

**Author's Note:**

> This idea struck me yesterday, and I wrote it down. It was originally going to be all story-based, but this makes things a bit more interesting. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Characters (and their usernames):
> 
> SucreFrenzyOrBust2020: Levi  
> RageCat: Satan  
> ThePrettyOne: Asmo  
> Mammoneyyy: Mammon  
> Marshmallow: Beel  
> Lucifer: Lucifer  
> HeyHeyHeyyy: Bokuto  
> OyaOyaOyaaa: Kuroo

_**\- The Demon Brothers (6) -** _

**[6:47am]**

**SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** MAMMONNNNNN

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** I know you're reading this, you can't ignore me

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** Answer me!!

**RageCat: 💬**

**RageCat:** What did Mammon do this time?

 **ThePrettyOne:** He probably swindled some of Levi's money again

 **ThePrettyOne:** Honestly Mammon, you never learn

 **Mammoneyyy:** 💬

 **Mammoneyyy:** Listen, Levi

 **Mammoneyyy:** Whatever you're thinking I did, it wasn't me!

**Marshmallow: 💬**

**Marshmallow:** Doesn't that usually mean that it WAS you, though?

 **Mammoneyyy:** Beel, you're supposed to take MY side y'know!

 **RageCat:** Why would Beel side with a scumbag?

 **ThePrettyOne:** Satan has a point. No one would side with you, Mammon.

 **Mammoneyyy:** My own brothers have no faith in me!

 **Mammoneyyy:** 😭

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** 💬

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** We're getting off topic!

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** Mammon, you took Henry 2.0's one-of-a-kind travel bowl again, didn't you?!

 **RageCat:** Again?

 **ThePrettyOne:** Again??

 **Marshmallow:** ???

 **Mammoneyyy:** In my defense, the rim is made out of pure Grimm!

 **Mammoneyyy:** Don't you know how many people want that??

 **Lucifer:** 💬

 **Lucifer:** Mammon, give Levi back his bowl.

 **Lucifer:** **Now.**

 **Mammoneyyy:** 😰

 **Mammoneyyy:** Alright alright, fine! I'll give you your stupid bowl back

 **Mammoneyyy:** ...In a couple of days.

**SucreFrenzyOrBust2020: 💬**

**SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** What??

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** 💬

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** Oh my devil, you already sold it on Akuzon didn't you

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** Please tell me I'm wrong

 **Mammoneyyy:** I set the price just right so that it was practically a steal from whoever bought it!

 **Mammoneyyy:** If anything, you should be thanking me for making more money than the stupid bowl is worth!

 **Lucifer:** **MAMMONNNNNN...**

 **Mammoneyyy:** Eek!

 **Mammoneyyy:** I'll get it back right away!!

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** Mammon I am going to hang you upside down from the chandelier for a century I swear

**[ _HeyHeyHeyyy_ and _OyaOyaOyaa_ have been added to the chat]**

**OyaOyaOyaaa:** Oya?

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Oya Oya??

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Oya Oya Oya???

 **RageCat:** What the fuck

 **Mammoneyyy:** Who the hell are you??

 **ThePrettyOne:** Mammon, I swear if these are some of the lesser demons you've been hanging around...

 **Mammoneyyy:** What? No, you know I don't expose you to those guys!

 **Mammoneyyy:** I don't know who they are! Didn't you see me ask them?!

**SucreFrenzyOrBust2020: 💬**

**SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** Who cares about that right now?!!

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** Mammon, get my bowl back!!

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** You want to know who we are? You'll just have to keep guessing until you get it right~

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Oh! Doesn't one of them remind you of Oikawa?

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** 💬

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Yup.

 **Lucifer:** Whoever you two are...

 **Lucifer:** Know your place.

 **Lucifer:** Remove yourselves from this chat immediately.

 **ThePrettyOne:** How did they even get in???

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** We hacked the system.

 **Lucifer:** ...What?

**HeyHeyHeyyy: 💬**

**HeyHeyHeyyy:** We hacked the system!

 **Lucifer:** ...How -

 **Lucifer:** One doesn't hack this kind of system.

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** lmfaoooo nice meme reference, dude

 **Lucifer:** ...

 **Lucifer:** What?

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Y'know, the Lord of the Rings one

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** "One does not simply walk into the Mines of Moria" or some shit like that

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** I thought it was "through the Gates of Mordor"??

**OyaOyaOyaaa: 💬**

**OyaOyaOyaaa:** Bro

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Don't make me pull out the whole trilogy again

 **RageCat:** Lucifer looks so astonished that I can't help but laugh from the side room. I don't think I've ever seen that expression on his face before.

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** ...Lucifer can we keep them

 **ThePrettyOne:** Levi??

**SucreFrenzyOrBust2020: 💬**

**SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** They know about Lord of the Rings

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** They must be nerds, just like me

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Hey! I'm not a nerd!

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Nah bro, you're just a dork

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** I'm always happy to meet another Lord of the Rings fan!!

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** I-It's not like that makes me happy or anything! Know your place!

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** 💬

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** I've been meaning to ask

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** What's with your names?

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Like Lucifer

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Really? You wanna be the fallen angel that badly?

 **RageCat:** Oh

 **ThePrettyOne:** Oop

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** F

 **Lucifer:** ...

 **Marshmallow:** What has been set in motion cannot be reversed.

 **Mammoneyyy:** I leave for a few minutes and my D.D.D. keeps ringing constantly! What happened??

 **Mammoneyyy:** Oh

 **Mammoneyyy:** Sayonara

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** ???

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** 💬

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** It's not like he's gonna die, right? All he did was tease a bit

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** He does that to me a lot, so I know

 **Lucifer:** I don't know who you are,

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Or where you come from,

 **Lucifer:** ?

 **Lucifer:** But nonetheless, I will find you.

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** And I will kill you.

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** ...Pfft -

 **ThePrettyOne:** Am I missing something here??

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** C'mon, you guys haven't heard of THAT one either??

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Bold of you to assume that you know where I live.

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** And bold of you to assume that I want to live.

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** To be honest, same.

 **Marshmallow:** :(

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** NOOOOOOOO!! None of that talk here!

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** Aw, Beel...

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** I'm sorry

 **RageCat:** Lol Lucifer looks so conflicted!

 **Lucifer:** 💬

 **Lucifer:** Nonetheless, I will have to let Lord Diavolo know of this...unfortunate turn of events.

 **Lucifer:** But, I suppose they can stay for now. At least, until we figure out who they are.

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Idk, I'd say that it's a lucky turn 😌

 **Mammoneyyy:** Why haven't we kicked these guys out yet?

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Hey!

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** I could be a girl for all you know!

 **RageCat:** HeyHey used he/him pronouns.

 **RageCat:** And you two seem close, so there's no reason they would use the wrong pronouns.

 **Lucifer:** As for your previous inquiries, our names are our names. I AM Lucifer.

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** I call bullshit

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** hmmmsmellslikebullshitinhere.png

 **Mammoneyyy:** OH MY DEVIL LUCIFER JUST GOT OWNED

 **RageCat:** WICJ0RN2SKAL

 **ThePrettyOne:** Satan's laughing on the floor, he can't text on his D.D.D. anymore. I've never seen this happen to him.

 **Lucifer:** If I could, I would reach through this phone and throttle the both of you.

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** But sadly I was Jared, 19

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** 💀💀

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** I'M -

 **ThePrettyOne:** 💬

 **ThePrettyOne:** In case everyone forgot, we have classes right now

 **ThePrettyOne:** So goodbye, you two! Thanks for making things interesting~

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** 💬

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Bro

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** 💬

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** I know, bro

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Spam deep-fried memes until they get back?

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** It's almost like we're soulmates

**[1:37am]**

**[ _HeyHeyHeyyy_** _has opened up a new chat with you!_ **]**

**[ _HeyHeyHeyyy_** _has renamed the chat to_ **_"Cats n' Owls"_ ]**

**HeyHeyHeyyy:** Hey RageCat, knock knock!

 **RageCat:** ?

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Knock knock!

 **RageCat:** ...Who's there...?

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Who!

 **RageCat:** Who who?

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** An owl!

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Get it? 'Cause they say "Hoo Hoo", not "Who Who"!

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Akaashi told me that it was a play on words!

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** And you seem like the type to like books and words and stuff!

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** 💬

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Plus, you seemed pretty mad at first, so I figured a knock knock joke would help ease the tension

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Nobody can hate knock knock jokes!

 **RageCat:** 💬

 **RageCat:** You're an idiot. Go to sleep.


	2. Henry 1.0, the Sand Guardian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo continues to piss off Lucifer. Bokuto tells Satan the worst jokes known to man. Levi mourns the loss of a friend. Mammon almost causes entire economies to collapse with just a few words. And, finally, the boys all realize that they're messaging across dimensions thanks to Beel, a sand dollar, and some deep-fried memes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're back at it again! This fic is going to be wild, from the looks of it.
> 
> For reference, here's the Characters (+ Usernames):
> 
> SucreFrenzyOrBust2020: Levi  
> RageCat: Satan  
> ThePrettyOne: Asmo  
> Mammoneyyy: Mammon  
> Marshmallow: Beel  
> Lucifer: Lucifer  
> HeyHeyHeyyy: Bokuto  
> OyaOyaOyaaa: Kuroo

_**\- The Demon Brothers (8) -** _

**[2:15am]**

**OyaOyaOyaaa:** 2amwiththeboislookingforsomeBEANS.png

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Ihavesuccessfullybeenrehydrated.png

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Drank some beans rn, wya

 **Lucifer:** 💬

 **Lucifer:** For the love of everything that is sinful, it is 2 in the morning. GO TO SLEEP.

 **Lucifer:** And do you mean "Drinking"?

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Sleep is 4 losersss

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** I am drunk off of beans and sleep deprivation

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Who has time for proper grammar

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** 💬

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** Why are you guys blowing up my phone, it's 2am

 **Lucifer:** Why don't you ask the culprit?

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** I've been told that I get delirious the longer I stay up

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** https://youtu.be/4nv0KOHAUIs

 **Lucifer:** ...What is this?

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** LMAO

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** "PuT tHaT bAaaAaaaAaAaCk"

**SucreFrenzyOrBust2020: 💬**

**SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** You know, I thought that you were just another normie

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** But HeyHey was right, you are a dork

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Stoppppp I get that all the time from Kenmaaaa

 **Lucifer:** Nonetheless, we all need sleep. We have RAD tomorrow, after all.

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** lmao what's rad? Your outfit?? hA

 **Lucifer:** I find myself contemplating murder whenever I speak with you.

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** You're just too tense

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Loosen up a bit!

 **Lucifer:** 💬

 **Lucifer:** I will not "Loosen Up" to some stranger.

[ _ **OyaOyaOyaaa** changed **Lucifer** 's name to **StickIntheMud**_ ]

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** I would do something more creative but I'm tired

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** But no night nights here, we die like the pussies we are

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Get it? 'Cause I'm a cat hAAAAA

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** 💬

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** Careful Lucifer, he's crazy right now

 **StickIntheMud:** I know. To be honest, I am wondering how he was able to change my name.

 **StickIntheMud:** I was aware that only us brothers had that kind of privilege.

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** I told you, I'm a GENIUS

 **StickIntheMud:** No, you told me that you were a hacker.

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** 💬

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** I am, disgusted, I am, offended

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** lol

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** By the way Lucifer, do you know what happened to Henry 1.0? Have you found any trace of him?

 **StickIntheMud:** I haven't found anything in particular. I'm sorry.

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Henry 1.0?

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Do I smell tea??

**Marshmallow: 💬**

**Marshmallow:** Sorry. I'm making hot chocolate right now.

 **StickIntheMud:** You are fine, Beel. Just make sure to go back to bed at a decent hour.

 **Marshmallow:** Okay.

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** Henry 1.0 was my first friend. We did everything together, until he disappeared. Now I have a goldfish named Henry 2.0.

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** Oh, Henry 1.0...where did you go...? I miss you...

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** Wait! Why am I telling this to some lesser demon?!

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** I have been called a little devil from time to time lmao

 **StickIntheMud:** We should all retire for the night.

 **StickIntheMud:** 💬

 **StickIntheMud:** Levi, that means you as well. I know you've been up this entire time.

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** Alright...

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** Goodnight

 **StickIntheMud:** Good night.

 **StickIntheMud:** 💬

 **StickIntheMud:** You too, lesser demon. You act as if you are drunk on Demonus.

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** But then I can't annoy youuuu

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** 💬

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Oh, fine. I have practice tomorrow anyways.

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Deuces ✌

 **StickIntheMud:** 💬

 **StickIntheMud:** What am I going to do with those two...?

**[12:30pm]**

**Marshmallow:** It's lunch time.

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** 💬

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** You guys have lunch right now?

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** AND you're all brothers???

 **ThePrettyOne:** Yes! I plan on stopping by Majolish later, if any of my dear brothers wants to come!

 **Mammoneyyy:** That depends on if you're paying

 **ThePrettyOne:** I will pay for anyone who isn't Mammon~ 😌💖

 **Mammoneyyy:** HEY!

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Majolish...?

 **ThePrettyOne:** Oh, you know

 **ThePrettyOne:** The popular clothing store?

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** ?

 **ThePrettyOne:** Situated ALL ACROSS Devildom??

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** ??

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** 💬

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** What's a Devildom? Is it a country or something?

 **ThePrettyOne:** It's the ONLY one!!

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** 💬

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** I know I'm dumb and all, but I'm pretty sure that there's more than one country

 **ThePrettyOne:** On Earth, sure, but no????

 **OyaOyaOyaaa** : Bro, I want to go to the beach

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Oh yeah! It's Friday, plus it's a nice day outside!

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Perfect day for me to get some rope lmao

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** nO

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** The last time you used rope at the beach, you got burnt!!

 **Marshmallow:** The beach?

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** Henry 1.0 liked the beach...

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** He sounds like a chill guy lol

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** 💬

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** Yeah...

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** He was the coolest snake I ever knew...

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** He's a WHAT

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** He is the sand guardian, guardian of the sand

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** POSEIDON QUIVERS BEFORE HIM!!

**OyaOyaOyaaa: FUCK OFF**

**OyaOyaOyaaa:** But ya, I want to go look for some sand dollars

 **Mammoneyyy:** I heard currency being discussed

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Sand dollars aren't literal money, silly-

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** -rabbit! Trix are for kids!

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** They're things we collect as kids and trade for candy bars and stuff!

 **Mammoneyyy:** That...sounds better than using currency to keep people working until their death days.

 **Mammoneyyy:** Mortals are so stupid.

 **RageCat:** Oh my devil, smite me now.

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Isn't your name literally Satan though?

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Why are you asking to smite yourself??

 **Marshmallow:** Ice cream does sound good right now...it's so hot.

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** And soak up that sun!

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** And play beach volleyball!!

 **Marshmallow:** 💬

 **Marshmallow:** Wait...

 **Marshmallow:** Sun?

 **Marshmallow:** There's no sun here.

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Uh, yeah there is???

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** You know, the giant yellow orb of death in the sky????

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** The one that makes you go blind if you stare at it for too long???

 **ThePrettyOne:** Oh no

 **RageCat:** This...can't be possible...

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** ?

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Is everything okay??

 **StickIntheMud:** It seems our intruders are from Earth.

 **StickIntheMud:** No wonder they hadn't heard of Majolish or Devildom.

 **Mammoneyyy:** You mean they're human?!!

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** lmao get rekt

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Wait why does that matter

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Aren't you guys from Earth too??

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Or are you just pranking us lmao

**StickIntheMud: 💬**

**StickIntheMud:** This is no prank.

 **StickIntheMud:** We are from Devildom, or what humans refer to as "Hell".

 **StickIntheMud:** 💬

 **StickIntheMud:** And my brothers and I...

 **StickIntheMud:** Are demons.

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** ...

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** ...

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** What kind of shitty crossover is this

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** We've been talking to humans this entire time???

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** So...

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** What you're saying...

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Is that we're the ultimate hackers?!

**RageCat: 💬**

**RageCat:** What.

**StickIntheMud: 💬**

**StickIntheMud:** **What.**

 **Mammoneyyy:** _**HAH?!**_

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Bro

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** No one is going to believe us

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Damnit, I knowww

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** And I wanted to tell Kenma, too

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** I can't believe we hacked across DIMENSIONS, bro

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Me too, bro

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** ...Wait

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** I told knock knock jokes to THE Satan???

**RageCat: 💬**

**RageCat:** Yes?

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Holy fucking shit I'm crying

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** The first thing you do when you meet the devil is tell him a knock knock joke

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Get your hyena laugh out of here, I can just hear it through the phone!

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** You're the one who teased a literal fallen angel!

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** 💬

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** ...Oh my God

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** I sent memes to and trash talked a fallen angel

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Are you okay, bro?

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** ...Bro??

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** 💬

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** This is Kenma. I don't know what you two have done, but it is distracting enough from our captain's practice so I stole his phone. He is currently on the floor wheezing from laughter. He will be leaving now.

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Hi, Kenma!!

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** ...Darn, he's gone

 **StickIntheMud:** I don't know why he finds this so amusing. It is clearly not.

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** ....Can I start making demon jokes now?

**StickIntheMud: Absolutely not.**

_**\- Cats n' Owls (2) -** _

**[10:31pm]**

**HeyHeyHeyyy: 💬**

**HeyHeyHeyyy:** Hey, Satan

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** I decided to text earlier too, since I'm sure you were really tired yesterday

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Listen...

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** I, uh

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Wanted to apologize if my jokes are annoying

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** I'll stop telling them

 **RageCat:** 💬

 **RageCat:** No, you're fine.

 **RageCat:** 💬

 **RageCat:** If anything, I find them amusing.

 **RageCat:** And thank you for texting earlier. You're right; I was pretty tired.

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** What were you doing up so late??

 **RageCat:** I could ask the same thing to you. But, I'll tell you.

 **RageCat:** I was reading a book.

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Oh...I bet it was about something super smart, like the calculus book Akaashi has

 **RageCat:** Actually, I was reading up on some knock knock jokes. There's this stranger who is persistent on telling me some to make me feel better.

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** !!!

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Can I hear some?!

 **RageCat:** Sure. Knock knock.

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Who's there?

 **RageCat:** Is it.

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Is it who??

 **RageCat:** No, the answer is Jeff.

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** 💬

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** I'm cryign

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** I can't believe you pulled Jeffpardy on me

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Satan knows memes?!!!!!

 **RageCat:** Only a few.

 **RageCat:** 💬

 **RageCat:** I have one more.

 **RageCat:** Knock knock.

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** I cnat breathe I'm wheezing

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** That was smooth as fuck

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Who's there?

 **RageCat:** Meow.

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Meow who???

 **RageCat:** The cat and the owl.

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** ...

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** I'm not crying you are

 **RageCat:** It's late. You should go to sleep, HeyHey.

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** 💬

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Thanks, Satan.

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** You too!!

 **RageCat:** 💬

 **RageCat:** I will.

_**\- The Demon Brothers (8) -** _

**[8:29am]**

**[ _OyaOyaOyaaa_** _changed the chat name to_ **_It's Brittany, Bitch_ ]**

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Hey there demons

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** It's me, ya boi

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** Ah shit, here we go again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo has been hanging out with Oikawa too much, because he'd never say tea to some strangers willingly.
> 
> ...Or, y'know, he would. Just to make them cringe.
> 
> [Kuroo + Bokuto's influence on the Demon Brothers - Day 2]
> 
> \- Lucifer sleeps less. He's kept awake by the thought of liquid beans.  
> \- Beel would very much like to eat a sand dollar now.  
> \- Levi has an existential crisis about relating the most to a pair of humans. He now survives off of Devilade (Devildom's equivalent of Gatorade) and Hell Wings.  
> \- Asmo begins to research the origins of Majolish and if he could find a way to introduce it to humans. The human race SERIOUSLY needs an update on their wardrobe.  
> \- Satan has made a pile of books to read that are full of puns. He checks his D.D.D. whenever he starts feeling angry.  
> \- Mammon's latest method to "fix" capitalism almost ended in WWIII. He stole some sand dollars and started selling them as currency on the corner.


	3. Homies Help Homies....Always

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OyaOyaOyaaa: Fellas is it gay to kiss the homies???  
> OyaOyaOyaaa: Oh shit wrong gc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo is a whole mood, and Beel is once again too pure for this world
> 
> Characters (+ Usernames)
> 
> SucreFrenzyOrBust2020: Levi  
> RageCat: Satan  
> ThePrettyOne: Asmo  
> Mammoneyyy: Mammon  
> Marshmallow: Beel  
> StickIntheMud: Lucifer  
> HeyHeyHeyyy: Bokuto  
> OyaOyaOyaaa: Kuroo

**_\- It's Brittany Bitch (8) -_ **

**[4:16pm]**

**OyaOyaOyaaa:** Fellas is it gay to kiss the homies???

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Oh shit wrong gc

 **ThePrettyOne:** 💬

 **ThePrettyOne:** No, of course not!

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Just say no homo after and you've got your bases covered bro

**OyaOyaOyaaa: 💬**

**OyaOyaOyaaa:** Wh

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** What if you didn't say it

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Then I guess it's homo all the way

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** You know it bro 🙌

 **RageCat:** 💬

 **RageCat:** Don't you all have assignments due tomorrow? Why are you texting?

 **RageCat:** Oh, wait...you're humans.

**ThePrettyOne: 💬**

**ThePrettyOne:** Satan brings up a good point. Do you two even have school?

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Why should we tell you that?

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Yeah, we do!

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Bro wHY

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** ?

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** They already told us their names

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** It's only fair

**Mammoneyyy: 💬**

**Mammoneyyy:** No we didn't! You just scrolled up the chat after joining!

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Still, it's only fair that you know a little about us!!

 **ThePrettyOne:** 💬

 **ThePrettyOne:** So we can ask you anything?

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** 💬

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** One question.

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** For each of us! But, you can ask me more than one if you want to!

**SucreFrenzyOrBust2020: 💬**

**SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** Why are you guys blowing up my D.D.D.??

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** Oh

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** I have a question for HeyHey

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Sure, fire away!

**SucreFrenzyOrBust2020: 💬**

**SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** Have you seen or heard of TSL?

**HeyHeyHeyyy: 💬**

**HeyHeyHeyyy:** Sorry, I haven't heard of it! I'll look it up and give it a watch, though!! If you're recommending it, then it MUST be good! ^^

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** ...I'll let your insolence slide just this once...

 **RageCat:** 💬

 **RageCat:** What do you two like to do as a hobby?

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Volleyball!!

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Volleyball!

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Bro...you read my mind...

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** No, bro...you read MY mind...

**Mammoneyyy: 💬**

**Mammoneyyy:** What's the easiest way to con a human?

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** LMAO do you plan on swindling some cash out of us?

 **Mammoneyyy:** nO

 **Mammoneyyy:** ....Maybe out of some witches...or maybe not! You never know!

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** lol Mammon you know it never works out for you

 **ThePrettyOne:** 💬

 **ThePrettyOne:** Yeah Mammon, usually the same witches summon you and then Lucifer has to get you out of making a pact with them!

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** 👀

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** 👀

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** We smell tea

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Does this happen often??

**RageCat: 💬**

**RageCat:** More often than you'd think.

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Alright, I'll tell you how since I'm interested in how this goes down. First... 

**StickIntheMud: 💬**

**StickIntheMud:** You all have assignments to complete.

 **Mammoneyyy:** Damn it Lucifer, I was just about to figure out how to con a human!

 **StickIntheMud:** You were **WHAT.**

 **ThePrettyOne:** Ooh, I have an appointment to go to! Talk to you all later~

 **RageCat:** There is a new book I'd like to read now...

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** AH! My Ruri-chan figurine just got delivered!

 **Mammoneyyy:** 💬

 **Mammoneyyy:** It's not what it looks like!

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** LMFAOOOO they really just said "bye bitch"

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Oh, Akaashi is here...I have to go do homework :(

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Good luck, bro

 **StickIntheMud:** To my knowledge, YOU were about to indulge him. Why?

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** 💬

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Because it's funny?

 **StickIntheMud:** ...That's it?

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Uh, yeah, that's like the whole point

 **StickIntheMud:** 💬

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** oop gotta go before I get verbally lashed by a dude, peace

 **StickIntheMud:** You are one of the most infuriating humans I have ever had the displeasure of knowing.

**OyaOyaOyaaa: 💬**

**OyaOyaOyaaa:** That just means I'm doing my job 😌💅💖

_**\- HeyHeyHeyyy, Marshmallow (2) -** _

**[11:47pm]**

**Marshmallow:** 💬

 **Marshmallow:** Lucifer, is it okay if I order 12 boxes of pizza right now? I've been craving it and my stomach won't stop growling at me...

 **Marshmallow:** Oh, wait...this isn't Lucifer...

**HeyHeyHeyyy: 💬**

**HeyHeyHeyyy:** Nope! But I could go for some pizza too...today's Saturday, after all.

**Marshmallow: I'm not giving you mine.**

**HeyHeyHeyyy:** Oh no, I'm not asking for your pizza! I was just thinking of ordering my own!

**HeyHeyHeyyy: 💬**

**HeyHeyHeyyy:** Kuroo usually steals my food whenever he's over my place, so I know how it feels to have someone else take your stuff

 **Marshmallow:** 💬

 **Marshmallow:** Okay

 **Marshmallow:** What kind of toppings are you getting?

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** I'm only ordering two boxes this time, one being plain cheese and another being a pepperoni stuffed crust

 **Marshmallow:** Stuffed crust...?

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** You don't know?!!!

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Aw dude, you gotta try it

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** They put cheese in the crust of the pizza, it's so gooddddd

 **Marshmallow:** I'll try it.

 **Marshmallow:** 💬

 **Marshmallow:** Thank you for telling me.

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Anytime, Marshmallow!

 **Marshmallow:** You can call me Beel. I don't mind.

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** !!!

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Okay, Beel!

 **Marshmallow:** I gotta go. I'm gonna ask Hell's Kitchen if they have stuffed crust available.

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Good luck, and let me know if you like it!

**[ _HeyHeyHeyyy_** _renamed the chat to_ **_Pizza Bros :D_ ]**

_**\- Mammoneyyy, OyaOyaOyaaa (2) -** _

**[12:36am]**

**Mammoneyyy: 💬**

**Mammoneyyy:** Oi, human

 **Mammoneyyy:** Are you still gonna tell me how to con a human?

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** honeyyougotabigstormcoming.png

 **Mammoneyyy:** Hey human, what does this mean

 **Mammoneyyy:** What the fuck does this mean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bokuto can and will be friends with anybody, it's hard to dislike him  
> Meanwhile Kuroo's being a little shit but they still put up with him
> 
> [Kuroo + Bokuto's Influence on the Demon Brothers - Day 3]
> 
> \- Lucifer has started compiling a list of where it all went wrong for him. What did he do to deserve this human's pestering?  
> \- Mammon dms Kuroo everyday at the same exact time, demanding answers. The poor demon doesn't know that he just got trolled.  
> \- Levi debates whether or not he should message Bokuto about TSL. He's on the fence about asking a "human normie".  
> \- Beel now holds midnight conversations with Bokuto about food.


	4. Say Sike Right Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The brothers talk about two troublemakers over breakfast, Bokuto and Kuroo meet up and consider making a cult of their own, Diavolo's a schemer, and Henry 1.0 STILL hasn't been found!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a mix of chat and text (...if that makes sense). 3 chapters already? This is crazy.
> 
> Characters + Their Usernames:
> 
> SucreFrenzyOrBust2020: Levi  
> RageCat: Satan  
> ThePrettyOne: Asmo  
> Mammoneyyy: Mammon  
> Marshmallow: Beel  
> StickIntheMud: Lucifer  
> HeyHeyHeyyy: Bokuto  
> OyaOyaOyaaa: Kuroo

Three weeks.

That's how much time had passed since the demon brothers realized that the two hackers were actually human. According to Lucifer, Diavolo didn't see it as a problem; he actually thought it was intriguing that humans could contact them from Earth in the form of a cellphone.

Ever since it was decided that they could stay in the chat, no one has brought them up outside of it.

And, frankly, Mammon was getting sick of it.

He burst into the House of Lamentation's dining hall with a _bang_ , his near-growl alerting his brothers (who were already eating breakfast, he was usually the last one to arrive _since Levi never showed up at all anymore_ ) to his presence. "Are we really just gonna ignore this?!"

Satan paused long enough to give him an exasperated look. Beel continued to eat away happily on his right, seemingly oblivious to the conversation. "It would help if we actually _knew_ what you were talking about, Mammon."

"Y'know!" Mammon waved his hands in the air, gesturing to something out of their reach. "The humans!"

To Mammon's left, Lucifer sighed as he set down his fork. "What more is there to know, Mammon? Now sit down and eat before you leave for RAD on an empty stomach."

Mammon actually did sit down, which surprised the others. Mammon knew that he would normally put up a fight, but _this_ was more important!

"We've been talking with 'em for _weeks._ Weeks! Why didn't we kick them out after we found out the truth?"

"Because they're entertaining, of course!" Asmodeus piped up across from him. He had already finished eating, and was looking at his painted nails as he spoke. Maybe he had an appointment later today? Whatever! It wasn't like Mammon cared! And he totally didn't look at his own chipped nails and made a note to go file them later! "And the fact that they're human makes this all the more interesting, don't you think?"

Satan huffed, although there was an amused smile on his face. "They have kept us on our toes, that's for sure. Do you remember the kidnapper question?"

Asmo chuckled. "That if you take a child from a kidnapper, does the number of kidnappers in the world increase?"

"Or the one about the limit being 412 chicken nuggets before a human gets paralyzed." Beel added thoughtfully, grabbing another plate of sushi. Mammon may have gotten used to Beel's appetite, but that didn't mean that he wasn't in awe at the sheer amount the guy could pack away. Didn't he start ordering more pizza at midnight, too?

He paused, the two intruders popping back into his mind. The brothers _had_ gotten used to the humans' antics, hadn't they? It was strange; normally, they would have stopped talking to them by now. What happened in the past three weeks?

...Lucifer was being awfully quiet.

Mammon turned on him. He was the only brother who would recklessly confront the eldest, and damnit he didn't care about the consequences because he wanted to know what was going on! "Oi Lucifer, why didn't we delete them already huh?!"

The next sigh from Lucifer seemed more drawn out. More resigned. Mammon supposed that it was because he was shouting so early in the day. "It is not as if they are causing any true harm. They are not a threat to Lord Diavolo, nor are they one to the Devildom, so it's fine to leave them as they are."

"There's more, isn't there?" Satan interrupted their conversation. There was some sort of emotion to be gleaned from his words, but Mammon wasn't gonna take the time to figure it out; he was too reckless, too impulsive after all. Plus, even though it seemed unlikely, Lucifer would listen to Satan over him.

...Yes, centuries ago he had begrudgingly realized that Lucifer would listen better to anyone that wasn't him, and it infuriated him to no end.

So, he had started making more deals.

Creating more scandals.

Coming home hurt more often than not.

At first, Lucifer had just scolded him as he patched him up. He would stay up and wait for Mammon to come home despite running on little to no sleep himself, and be especially stern with him as he wrapped the bandages over a wound with a little bit more force than necessary.

 _"Why?"_ Lucifer would ask, not expecting an answer because he kept going. _"Do you enjoy getting hurt? Because I do not find this situation funny in the slightest."_

It had made Mammon happy. No, not the pain, get your mind out of the gutter!

It made him happy to see that Lucifer cared about him enough to take care of his injuries. It made him happy to know that no matter what he did, where he went, Lucifer would always wait for him and lecture him and patch him up and scold him further because he still loved him.

Until he didn't.

Mammon shook his head, forcing the thoughts away. He won't be deterred from finding out what he wanted, damnit! And it wasn't like he cared about those stupid, weak humans they've come to know over chat either!

Lucifer shifted in his seat, and Mammon realized that he looked tired. Not your normal Lucifer-tired, but drop-dead-bone-tired. Lucifer had a tendency to sleep less than the others, no matter what anyone said about it. _It ain't like he'd hear my opinion on it, anyways. If he wants to ruin himself, then let 'im._ (The uncomfortable feeling in his gut said otherwise.) "...You're right. There's more to this."

"Oh?" Asmo looked intrigued now, finally inserting himself fully into the conversation. "This sounds like some big news."

There was a tense silence, spreading across the dining table in a matter of seconds. Lucifer proceeded to shatter it with just a few words.

"Starting tomorrow, Lord Diavolo's Exchange Program will go into effect."

"... _WHAT?!_ "

* * *

"Hey bro, over here!"

Bokuto waved as he called out to his friend in a diner, exaggerating his movements so that the other could spot him easier. (Even though his spiked hair stuck out like a sore thumb, but we digress.)

Kuroo sat down across from him in their booth, a lazy grin on his face. Bokuto figured that it must've been a good day for him, which in turn made him happy. "Hey, Bo. Still talking to Satan?"

If anyone walked by their booth as the bedhead said that, they would've looked at them as if they were crazy. Bokuto was practically bouncing in his seat, excitement written across his features. "Yeah, I am! He reminds me a bit of Akaashi, except he's more...y'know..."

At this point, he was waving a hand around as he searched for the word he wanted to say. He could tell that Kuroo was amused by the way his eyebrow raised ever so slightly, lips curling into a long smile the more Bokuto struggled.

"Angrier?" He offered.

Bokuto nodded, wincing immediately right after. No one liked to be called temperamental, after all. "...Emotional?" He amended.

Kuroo laughed. "Did you just diss Akaashi?"

Bokuto gasped, realizing what he just implied. "Wha- no! Akaashi's an amazing dude! I didn't mean it like that!"

"I know, I know." Kuroo's laughter died down to the occasional chuckle, resting his chin on the palm of his hand. "Akaashi's pretty chill. Still, I never thought _the_ Satan was just as chill."

"Hey, you go out of your way to piss off the serious guy! Lucifer, right?" Bokuto countered. He was not about to let Kuroo tease him for the billionth time about how he regularly tells knock knock jokes to the devil himself, at least not without payback!

Kuroo's infamous hyena laugh made a comeback, forcing a smile out of Bokuto. It was one of those laughs that put you in a good mood if you just so happened to hear it, after all. "He's just so _easy_ to tease! And it's not like he'll be able to reach us if they're actually from the underworld and all."

"You still don't believe them?" Bokuto asked, voice raising at the end in disbelief. His best friend hummed, staring at the table in thought.

"Nope." He finally said after a while. Bokuto saw the uneasiness in his eyes, and briefly wondered if he was trying to convince himself with just one little word. The thought was gone as soon as it came due to a waiter kindly taking their orders, leaving with their requests written down.

"But you gotta admit that they have some strange names." He pointed out, recalling how in one of his conversations with Satan he had mentioned someone named Barbatos.

Kuroo leaned forward, eyes twinkling. Bokuto knew that meant that whatever he said next was either a) A good, solid, fool-proof idea or b) Something so dubious that they could be sent to jail for it. "I know. Their names match up with the names of powerful demons. I did a little digging, after all.

"Say...why don't we start a cult?"

Bokuto stared at him blankly. Did...he hear one of his dearest, supposedly _sane_ friends right? "Uh...what?"

Kuroo rolled his eyes like he was stupid. Bokuto frowned; yeah, he might be a little slow on the uptake, but he wasn't stupid! "You know, like a Facebook group. We can make fake accounts, and then tell those brothers that we started a cult in their name."

That...actually wasn't a bad idea. It was certainly funny, and the worst that could happen was their fake accounts being terminated. Bokuto snorted in amusement, leaning forward as his eyes shone with mischief. "You know they're gonna hate us after this, right?"

"They won't." Kuroo waved him off, sounding certain. "Besides, if they did they'd just kick us out. We could always add ourselves again; I remember what we did to get in."

Their food was finally placed in front of them. Kuroo raised a piece of steak in the air as a toast, voice turning solemn even though an idiotic grin was on his face. "To stupidly genius ideas."

Bokuto raised his drink (pink lemonade, it _was_ pretty hot out) in response, smoothing out his features to match Kuroo's. You'd think that they were about to head off to their deaths with how serious they were being.

"To stupidly genius ideas."

* * *

_**\- OyaOyaOyaaa, StickIntheMud (2) -** _

**[ _OyaOyaOyaaa_** _changed the chat name to_ **_Luci's About to Kermit_ ]**

**[5:32pm]**

**OyaOyaOyaaa:** 💬

 **OyaOyaOyaOyaaa:** Hey

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Scale of 1 to 10, how pissed would you be if it took 4 hours for 276k people to worship you on Facebook

 **StickIntheMud:** 💬

**StickIntheMud: What.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer needs a break, and soon. Unfortunately for him, things get 10x worse here on out.
> 
> This chapter's a bit short, and there's not as many memes, but that's because there's an actual story in this! But don't worry, dear readers; it will still be as crackish as ever!


	5. We're Going to Narnia, Yeah Boiiiiii

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo's late night conversation with Lucifer turns out much different than expected. Bokuto ends up downplaying a life-damaging situation. Henry 1.0 is still very much gone. You know, the usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bokuto is also a whole mood, that's all I'm saying
> 
> Characters (+ Usernames)
> 
> SucreFrenzyOrBust2020: Levi  
> RageCat: Satan  
> ThePrettyOne: Asmo  
> Mammoneyyy: Mammon  
> Marshmallow: Beel  
> StickIntheMud: Lucifer  
> HeyHeyHeyyy: Bokuto  
> OyaOyaOyaaa: Kuroo

Kuroo Tetsurou was not an extraordinary person.

Sure, he liked to act like he was. His bangs had just the right length over his eye to give him an air of mystery, his irises gleaming with mischief more often than not. Yaku liked to compare him to a crafty fox, although _everyone_ knew he was a cat since he loved cats and went to a school _called Nekoma_ , which the symbol was a literal cat, so Yaku was just plain _wrong._

But he digressed.

Despite the way he carried himself, he was normal, bland. He had his own worries, his own goals, his own fears, and his own dreams just like the next person.

He could say, though, that he was extremely lucky to have Bokuto as a friend. He was vibrant, energetic, encouraging, all over the place, and most of all so kind to those he barely even knew. In comparison, Kuroo was shockingly more subdued. He stuck to the shadows more often than not so Bokuto could have the spotlight, directing his own silent symphony as players danced to his tune. People preferred to focus on the light over the darkness, after all, and it's all the more better if they underestimate him.

They also often wondered how in the world he saw himself as ordinary when he could coerce people into doing what he wanted them to do, revealing what he wanted to know. It was easy; he just happened to be perceptive, that's all, and chose his words carefully.

That's how he figured out Lucifer was usually the one to clean up after his "brothers" (if they even _were_ brothers, but then again they've been texting back and forth for nearly a month so surely there's some merit to their words by now?) whenever they unintentionally ( _he was 85% sure Mammon did it on purpose, though_ ) created a problem they themselves couldn't fix right away.The guy had to be absolutely _exhausted_ everyday, and even when it seemed like he was he still had energy to spare when it came to dealing with him. With these thoughts in mind he plopped down onto his bed, hair damp from his shower and phone in hand as he turned it on.

He immediately clicked on a contact that was quite high on his list (although it was below Bokuto's, who was below Kenma's and his parents'). He was bored, and when he was bored there was a 50/50 chance of him either causing some trouble or succumbing to -

 _No._ He shook his head, a frown appearing on his face. He wouldn't let himself even _entertain_ those kinds of thoughts; Kenma always said to focus on something else entirely if it started to happen and he wasn't around.

That something else happened to be his currently favorite pastime: annoying Lucifer.

**_\- Luci's About to Kermit (2) -_ **

**[9:25pm]**

**OyaOyaOyaaa:** 💬

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Yo, Luciiiii

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** I know you're up, it's like you never sleep

**StickIntheMud: 💬**

**StickIntheMud:** I would prefer it if you didn't call me Luci. Lucifer is just fine.

Kuroo grinned. The other's response wasn't a request. He could practically hear his annoyance through the phone, although he briefly wondered what he sounded like in real life. What kind of person (er, demon) was he? Did he ever take a break from work?

_Oh well. It's not like we'll ever meet, anyways._

**OyaOyaOyaaa:** You're such a party pooper, you know that?

 **StickIntheMud:** I aim to please.

He actually laughed out loud at that one, rolling over onto his stomach as he typed. Who knew that the fallen angel (Is he even _really_ a fallen angel? Sometimes, Kuroo hated second-guessing everything) had a sense of humor, no matter how dry it was? This recent discovery made him feel giddy, and already he was forgetting about what was previously plaguing his thoughts.

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** I didn't think you had it in you to make a joke like that!

He paused. What if he unintentionally offended him? From what he knew, Lucifer came off as a proud man, and texts didn't always translate thoughts over effectively.

He didn't have to wait long for an answering text.

 **StickIntheMud:** Despite my outward disposition, I like to think that I have some semblance of humor.

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Humor is a must in this cruel, cruel world of ours

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** 💬

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Don't you have school tomorrow or something? Why are you texting me?

 **StickIntheMud:** 💬

 **StickIntheMud:** I could ask the same of you. What prompted you to text me?

Kuroo wouldn't admit that he fumbled for a response that didn't seem too suspicious. Nope, nada, zilch. Besides, even _if_ he did he'd take that to his grave.

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Isn't it obvious? I get a kick out of annoying you!

 **StickIntheMud:** 💬

 **StickIntheMud:** Even though that is true, you haven't been particularly annoying.

 **StickIntheMud:** I would even go as far as to assume that something is up.

He froze, his breath stilling for a solid five seconds in sheer shock. It didn't even cross his mind that Lucifer might be getting used to his mannerisms as much as he was getting used to his.

Embarrassingly enough, it took a solid 2 minutes for him to even form a semi-normal response. If his lack of annoyance (something he was sorely disappointed at himself for) didn't tip Lucifer off that Kuroo was off his game today, then his late texts surely did.

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** I think you're reading too much into it, Luci

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** I just had a tiring day at school, is all. I'm running on fumes atm

 **StickIntheMud:** 💬

 **StickIntheMud:** And I assume you hesitated to reply merely because of school?

 _Okay, fuck him for seeing right through him._ Kuroo let his mind indulge in curse words that would make a sailor blush with a vengeance, typing a reply to steer the conversation away from himself ( _Don't read into it, don't look at me, don't see **me**_ ) when his phone chimed at him.

 **StickIntheMud:** No matter. You do not have to tell me if you don't wish to. There are things I'd much rather keep to myself, as well.

**StickIntheMud: 💬**

**StickIntheMud:** Just know that I am available if you ever wish to talk.

 **StickIntheMud:** Also, if you're tired, go to sleep. It's as simple as that.

Kuroo snorted, shoulders unwinding from their tense position.

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Nah, I'd rather stay up and talk to you. I can't sleep.

This was...nice. No memes, no bickering, just...a normal conversation. They almost touched on a subject he wasn't too keen on discussing, but Lucifer seemed to sense that and avoided it with ease. It was hard to not admire the guy for that skill alone.

 **StickIntheMud:** I can. Good night.

Kuroo scowled.

Scratch that. Lucifer was a bonafide _asshole._

* * *

_**\- Watch TSL Already (3) -** _

**[4:57am]**

**HeyHeyHeyyy:** Road work ahead? Uh yeah, I sure HOPE it does!

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Oh no

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** He's seen the iconic vines

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Chris, is that a weed?! I'm calling the police!

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Ah fuck- I can't believe you've done this

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** MAKE IT STOP

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Interior crocodile alligator

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** I drive a Chevrolet

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** MOVIE THEE - ATER

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Okay, that one's acceptable

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** 💬

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Where is everyone, anyways? No one's answering my texts, and usually all of you are up at this time

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** They're preparing for the exchange program

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** The new transfers you guys were going on about yesterday?

**SucreFrenzyOrBust2020: 💬**

**SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** Yeah, both from the Celestial Realm and from Earth

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** I'm gonna have to deal with more normies, ughhh

**HeyHeyHeyyy: 💬**

**HeyHeyHeyyy:** Do you know who the transfers from Earth are?

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** No clue, only Lord Diavolo and Lucifer know since Lucifer picked them out

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** It'd be funny if it was us lmao

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** It'd be cool, though!!

**SucreFrenzyOrBust2020: 💬**

**SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** I'd actually prefer it if it was you guys

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** I at least somewhat know you

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Good luck! Let us know how it goes! ^^

That was all Bokuto was able to send before he had the sensation of falling. He landed on the ground with an _oomph_ , hair disheveled and still wearing a tank top and pajama bottoms. At least he had already spiked his hair beforehand. His bedhead was a sight to see, and he preferred his hair being up and out of the way.

He stood up, brushing himself off. Where was he, anyways? Was there a hidden sinkhole in his house, and he stepped into it? It was a pretty big sinkhole if that was the case.

He briefly heard a familiar yell grow louder from...was that coming from _above him?_ He didn't have time to look up before a solid mass slammed into him, knocking him to the ground once more.

"Hey, man - " He struggled to say, knowing that the other person was probably as disoriented as he was when he first fell, "I know it's sudden and all, but can you please get off of me? Your elbow's jamming into my side."

"Oh, fuck - " The other person said, scrambling to get off of him. He unintentionally jabbed his side again, and Bokuto groaned in pain before feeling the weight disappear completely.

"I'm so sorry - Bo??"

Once Bokuto got his bearings again, he swiveled his head around to see none other than Kuroo Tetsurou gaping at him. Judging by his even-messier-than-usual hair, red pajama bottoms (which had cat paws on it, and it made him crack a smile because that was just so _him_ ), and the square glasses that sat perched on his nose, it seemed like he was whisked here without warning too.

Bokuto felt his own jaw drop. " _Kuroo?!_ "

"Bro, what - " Kuroo couldn't finish, because someone interrupted them.

"I see you two already know each other." A red-haired man laughed, sitting on what Bokuto guessed was a throne of sorts. "That is wonderful. I hope this means you have less of a hard time acclimating to Devildom."

Actually, now that he could see clearer, it wasn't just him on a throne. Bokuto had to literally crane his neck upwards to look at the others situated on either side of the man, 3 empty seats implying that not everyone was present.

He realized that neither of them had responded, and the black haired dude sitting on the right of throne guy was looking more and more agitated as the silence grew. "Oh! Uh, yeah. We're friends. I'm Bokuto, Bokuto Koutarou. Nice to meet you!"

He got the feeling that Kuroo was looking at him as if he was crazy. Actually, Kuroo _was_ looking at him as if he was crazy. He just shrugged back at him, giving a _What Else Are We Gonna Do??_ look. He just hoped that Kuroo got the message.

"Kuroo. Kuroo Tetsurou." Well, they didn't share a brain cell for nothing. It looked like Kuroo had composed himself enough to say something, too.

"Greetings Bokuto, Kuroo. My name is Lord Diavolo." The throne dude - _Lord Diavolo_ \- spoke again, a welcoming smile stretching across his face. He seemed nice enough, and Bokuto felt bad that his attention was being drawn elsewhere because even though Lord Diavolo was nice he seemed really important and now the guy on his right was _definitely_ glaring at him and he _really_ should've listened to his doctor and taken his medication like he was supposed to -

"Hold up. You want us to do _what?_ " Oh, it looks like he missed something. Bokuto was too full of energy and was looking at _everything_ now and just _couldn't sit still_ , so he had subconsciously resorted to pacing back and forth. It seems like whatever Lord Diavolo (is Lord really his first name?? Bokuto hoped that it was only a title) had said was shocking enough to get Kuroo to directly question him.

\- Wait, backtrack. Throne dude said _Lord Diavolo?_ And _Devildom?_ It's not like they're out of Tokyo, much less Japan...right?

And why did those words sound so familiar?

Before he knew it, Kuroo nudged his side just in time to hear his name being called. Diavolo (the Lord was a _bit_ much) had dispersed the meeting, and the scary-looking guy from before made his way over to them.

He inwardly panicked. He had missed the majority of what was said, and was completely and utterly lost. He really didn't mean to come off as rude!

"I'll fill you in later." Kuroo whispered to him as if he had sensed his frantic thoughts. "I told them you'll need your meds, too."

"But you know I barely even take them!" Bokuto whispered back, although he was grateful that Kuroo was still looking out for him. He couldn't have asked for a better best friend than Kuroo (...Akaashi _was_ up there, though), honestly.

"Are you two done gossiping?"

The guy in front of them seemed a bit annoyed, but the words had no real bite to them so Bokuto assumed that he didn't really mean it.

That being said, the guy looked a bit tense. Bokuto bit his lip, eyes narrowing in concentration. He didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable, much less _feel_ like he was forced to interact with them. He swore to be a good guest.

Besides, the guy could probably stand to smile once in a while!

"Again, welcome to Devildom." Serious-and-annoyed-guy said pleasantly enough, leading them out of the room. "You will be staying with us in the House of Lamentation, since neither of you house any substantial magical energy. One of my brothers will each be your caretaker: Kuroo, Asmodeus is in charge of you, and Bokuto, Mammon will look after you."

Bokuto and Kuroo stopped in their tracks. The serious guy also stopped once he heard the lack of footsteps following him, looking back at them with a raised brow.

Bokuto swallowed, weakly raising his voice. "Uh...can you run that by us again?"

"Asmodeus will look after Kuroo, and Mammon will look after Bokuto." He repeated. "They are my brothers."

There was no mistaking those names.

"Oh, I suppose I never introduced myself." The dude kept on talking, as if he hadn't turned his and Kuroo's world upside down and yeeted them straight into the void. "My name is Lucifer. If you have any complaints during your year-long stay here, I would advise that you take them up with me. I will make sure that they go to Lord Diavolo."

And just like that, the other bomb was dropped. Bokuto looked over at Kuroo, who went stiff as a board; here in front of them stood the guy Kuroo constantly annoyed to no end, proving to them that he was 100% telling the truth when he told them that he was a demon. (At least, he _thought_ that this was their Lucifer. You never know, after all). What would his reaction be? Would he keep silent and walk on? Or would his horrifically awe-inspiring hyena laugh make a grand entrance? (If it was the latter, then Bokuto wouldn't be able to keep his composure. It was a laugh that was just too ridiculous, too hilarious to not have _some_ sort of reaction to.)

Kuroo inhaled sharply, mouth opening ever so slowly. Bokuto's eyes widened, leaning forward in anticipation.

"Deadass?"

Eleven minutes had passed since he and Kuroo were plucked from their homes and dropped into Devildom. Eleven minutes to debrief them on a decision that would change the course of their lives forever.

Eleven minutes for Bokuto to laugh, loud and carefree and _bright_ , doubling over as tears stained the corner of his eyes at his friend's blunt response to the high-ranking demon. Lucifer was probably glaring at him again, but once he started laughing he couldn't stop.

Devildom had no idea what it signed up for when he and Kuroo were chosen to stay there for an entire year.

* * *

_**\- Watch TSL Already (3) -** _

**[5:01am]**

**SucreFrenzyOrBust2020: 💬**

**SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** Yeah, I'll let you two know what they're like. I think they just got here.

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** Guys?

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** Guys??

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** 💬

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** I guess they had to go do school stuff. How can they wake up early for that??

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** Oh! The new Ruri-chan figurine preorder should be available later today!! I gotta go check it out, so bye guysss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me, basically skipping the beginning scene which has been hashed out plenty of times in other fics and jumping straight into it with the next chapter: Parkour
> 
> The big reveal: Kuroo and Bokuto go to Devildom!
> 
> All of your comments give me life and energy, YES 
> 
> I appreciate all of your positivity and enthusiasm so much!!
> 
> So, it's kinda crazy that Kuroo and Bokuto are now actually in Devildom, huh? I wonder what will happen to these two? Until next time!


	6. There's Just More Soup (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bokuto and Kuroo make plans together. Lucifer, as always, is ridiculed by one middle blocker. Mammon is semi-decent at his new job. Cliffhangers are had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're already on Chapter 6?! This is CRAZY! Thank you all so much for your support and comments; it makes me happy that you're all so excited about this series, because honestly I'm stoked for what's in store for you all!
> 
> Characters (+ Usernames)
> 
> SucreFrenzyOrBust2020: Levi  
> RageCat: Satan  
> ThePrettyOne: Asmo  
> Mammoneyyy: Mammon  
> Marshmallow: Beel  
> StickIntheMud: Lucifer  
> HeyHeyHeyyy: Bokuto  
> OyaOyaOyaaa: Kuroo

Once him and Bokuto were alone, Kuroo flopped onto Bokuto's bed with a drawn-out groan of misery.

He had walked far too much, and it wasn't like Lucifer was merciful either; after Bokuto's laughing fit, they had walked (with purpose, just like how schools beat it into you) faster than was comfortable. Bokuto had seemingly endless stamina, so he kept pace with the demon no problem; however, Kuroo's own stamina wasn't a bottomless well, and it irked him that his long legs had failed him in the end. _Damn Lucifer and his subtle, irritated ass. He didn't need to take out his annoyance on me, at least._

(That wasn't particularly true, since it _was_ technically his fault that Bokuto laughed as much as he did. He just couldn't pass up an opportunity to baffle Lucifer with his oh so _eloquent_ speech, that's all.)

Oh, he'd get revenge. Lucifer would rue the day he thought he could outdo Kuroo fucking _Tetsurou_.

"Are you good, bro?" Bokuto's amused voice dragged him out of his increasingly PG-14 thoughts (kids swore like sailors nowadays, right? Who knew when that PG rating would increase yet again), prompting him to lift his head and give him an exhausted glare.

"Yeah. Totally. One _hundred_ percent okay. I am _not_ dying of exhaustion on your bed. Nope." Oh _wow_ , bountiful sarcasm this one has. He saw Bokuto's smile widen, a few chuckles leaving him as he walked over.

The bed dipped as he sat down, making Kuroo lean towards him. "I hope you feel better soon."

Kuroo lightly pushed his shoulder, although it was awkward to do so from the angle he was at. "Ass."

"Only to you." Bokuto retorted without any real heat to it, grinning as he ruffled that ebony mess of hair Kuroo argued was a fashion statement (because it _was_ , it made him look _handsome_ and _stylish_ and nothing like he woke up okay?!). "Is there something you wanted to talk about?"

Kuroo nodded, although he was unsure if the other saw it. "Yeah, actually." He clarified, a wicked smirk spreading across his face.

"Uh oh, I know that look. Nothing good ever happens when you get that look." Bokuto acted like he was complaining, but he wasn't fooled. His gray-haired friend was kicking his legs from where they hung off the bed, a certain gleam in his eyes that reminded Kuroo of whenever he thought of stupid shit in front of his mirror.

No matter what he said, it was clear that Bokuto was on board.

"I'll tell you later. What do you think of this whole thing?"

Bokuto tilted his head, and Kuroo meant no homo when he described the action as fucking adorable. "What do you mean?"

He gestured at the room that was prepared for Bokuto. "Y'know." He had a minor malfunction trying to find the right words to say, but he had the valid excuse of being tired to the point that he wasn't sure if he could get up from Bokuto's bed anymore so lay off of him! "The whole "exchange program" gig they got going on."

Bokuto's face scrunched into a weird expression that Kuroo could only assume was his thinking face. He honestly made the best faces, and it took all of Kuroo's self-control to not laugh at him. "It's kind of exciting, actually! Even though it's really sudden. I can't wait to text Akaashi about it!"

Kuroo nudged his side, raising an eyebrow. "No no _no_ , my good friend...I was really talking about the brothers. I heard that you had to talk to Mammon over the phone."

Oh, Bokuto was making a weird face again. His legs had started kicking more, too, but Kuroo couldn't tell if it was from the lack of pills in his system or out of agitation. Maybe a bit of both?

Bokuto sighed. "He wasn't too keen on talking to me." He then perked up, his legs stopping their motions momentarily. "Oh! But then Lucifer talked to him and he seemed happier!"

Kuroo sweat dropped. He remembered seeing the whole ordeal well: Lucifer had leaned over Bokuto's shoulder to speak into the device that they were given ( _really?_ They're called D.D.D.'s? There _had_ to be a dick joke in there somewhere), said some choice words that he couldn't really hear, and seconds later a white-haired demon had barrelled in, talking frantically to Lucifer before practically dragging Bokuto away. The fact that Bokuto couldn't see that Lucifer had intimidated Mammon into complying made him wonder just what else went over his friend's head.

He chuckled. "I don't think "happier" is the right word there, Bo."

"Well, what about you and Asmo?" Bokuto countered, returning his earlier nudges with a vengeance. "I saw you two talk a bit before we left."

Kuroo hummed. Asmodeus wasn't _cold_ , per say, but he certainly wasn't all sunshine and rainbows either. "He was nice enough. We just made plans to shop for uniforms tomorrow."

Bokuto looked at him in confusion. "Uniforms?"

Kuroo snickered. "Yeah. We can't exactly show up in our pajamas, after all."

"But it would've been nice." Bokuto muttered. Kuroo rolled his eyes, another grin forming as he pushed him lightly.

"Then Lucifer would've yelled at you, probably."

Before Bokuto could retort, both of their phones buzzed (No, not their D.D.D.'s, but their _actual_ phones that they had on them when they fell who-the- _fuck_ -knows how many feet into Devildom).

_**\- It's Brittany Bitch (8) -** _

**[8:26pm]**

**SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** 💬

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** So, what are the new transfers like?

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** 💬

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** Not that I'm interested or anything!

 **Marshmallow:** 💬

 **Marshmallow:** I don't know. I was just hungry the entire time they talked. My stomach wouldn't stop rumbling.

 **Mammoneyyy:** 💬

 **Mammoneyyy:** This is stupid. Why do I gotta look after a weak human, huh?!

Bokuto wilted as he read Mammon's words, and Kuroo had half a mind to march right over to the demon and sock him in the face.

...Which sounded nice, but he didn't exactly know _where_ Mammon was in this mansion of a house.

 **ThePrettyOne:** 💬

 **ThePrettyOne:** Well, mine seems interesting at least. He wasn't immediately charmed by me, which is a little infuriating to be honest.

If Kuroo was drinking something right now, he would've spat it out after reading that. Asmo was trying to _seduce_ him? He thought he had a better gaydar than that!

He proceeded to analyze their prior conversation. _Nothing_ about their interactions gave off the vibe of flirting. If anything, Asmo was just being polite when he offered. What was the demon even talking about?

 **RageCat:** Not everyone can be seduced by you, Asmo. It's about time you met your maker.

 **StickIntheMud:** 💬

 **StickIntheMud:** Mammon, if you have a problem with the new arrangements, you may discuss it with me.

And there was Lucifer, ever the knight in shining armor. Kuroo snorted as Mammon proceeded to send scared emojis, deciding that now was the time to join in on the conversation.

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Sounds like you guys have a fun year ahead of you.

Bokuto stared at him in confusion. He still seemed a bit down if the look in his eyes was anything to go by, and Kuroo prayed that he wouldn't fall into his infamous emo mode. "Why aren't we telling them that it's us? I'm sure they'll be stoked."

Kuroo gaped at him. "What? And ruin the fun? Bro, perish the thought!"

Bokuto rolled his eyes, but a ghost of a smile appeared on his face. _Good,_ Kuroo thought. _Bokuto looks better smiling. I'll admit that I'm not the best to handle his negative moods, but I'll do everything I can to help a bro out._ "Of course you'd want to."

"Don't act like you don't wanna do it too." He countered, wagging his eyebrows. "Imagine the looks on their faces when we drop the bomb on them. I plan on using their reactions as future blackmail."

This time Bokuto actually laughed, leaning into him for a little support. "When is it ever _not_ blackmail with you?"

"That's the point." Kuroo chuckled, only to have his attention drawn back to the group chat.

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** They sound like a real handful, that's for sure. I can't believe you two have to hang around them.

 **RageCat:** I would offer, but what Lucifer says goes, remember?

 **ThePrettyOne:** Satan, you're sounding like quite the gentleman. We all know that you don't want to be in charge of a fragile human.

 **StickIntheMud:** 💬

 **StickIntheMud:** Regardless of our feelings, it is for the sake of achieving Lord Diavolo's dream.

**HeyHeyHeyyy: 💬**

**HeyHeyHeyyy:** Diavolo's dream?

 **StickIntheMud:** That's Lord Diavolo to you.

Kuroo snickered. Was there ever a time where Lucifer _didn't_ sound like he had a stick up his ass?

Eugh, he can just hear his voice in his head too. It must be because he had finally met him in person.

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** What's his dream? World peace or something?

 **StickIntheMud:** Something to that extent, yes. He wishes to establish good relations among the three realms.

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** You sure you should be telling this to a couple of random humans?

Not gonna lie, he was nervous about Lucifer's response. He had seen in person just _what_ they thought of humans, and coupled with the fact that they needed to strengthen their souls so that other demons didn't kill them...he wasn't optimistic, that's for sure.

 **StickIntheMud:** As loathe as I am to admit it, we have known you for nearly a month at this point. You have at least earned that much trust.

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Awww, Luci loves us!

 **Mammoneyyy:** LUCI -

 **StickIntheMud:** You are lucky that I have my hands full with the transfers and student council tasks.

**StickIntheMud: It's Lucifer.**

**OyaOyaOyaaa:** Pshhh Luci, Lucifer, what's the difference?

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Besides, you didn't deny your love for us~

"You have a death wish." Bokuto snickered, shaking his head as he read the numerous shocked reactions from the other brothers. (Levi had actually put an F in the chat, which made Kuroo let out a strangled mess of a chuckle. It was close to sounding like his _amazing_ laugh, that's for sure.)

Kuroo grinned. He knew that what he did was ballsy, but it wasn't like Lucifer knew that he was...well, _him_. "Who knows at this point?"

One of their phones buzzed. He checked to see if it was his own, only to find no new notifications. Either it was from the group chat, or that was Bokuto.

"It's me." Bokuto clarified, already tapping away with excitement. "Beel just asked about you."

"About me?" Kuroo repeated, raising a brow. He didn't know that one of the brothers knew about him. They just "met" him today, after all. Unless...

Bokuto's excitement dulled in the face of sheepishness. "When we first talked about pizza together, I...may or may not have mentioned you."

His look of bemusement had Bokuto scrambling to explain himself. "It's not my fault you come over to my house just to eat the food and leave!"

Oh, right. He forgot that it was his second favorite pastime for a second. Kuroo tapped his fist to his chest, a dull _thump_ sound reaching their ears as he proudly chuckled. "I am, after all, the _master_ of dining and dashing."

Bokuto snorted. "Whatever you say."

Kuroo gasped in shock, faking his mortification. He wasn't a drama queen for nothing, that's for sure. "How _dare_ you assume otherwise! Anyways," He used his arms to push himself forward, straining to read what Bokuto was texting, "don't tell him that I'm OyaOyaOyaaa. Just say that you're kinda bummed that one of your best, most awesomest friends is gone on the grandest of adventures."

Bokuto rolled his eyes, shaking his head in exasperation but complying nonetheless. It was then that Kuroo checked back in with the chat, seeing the messages dying down.

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** We're gonna hit the sack early. We want to see how early an ice cream shop near us opens because we're absolutely dying in this summer heat.

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** You should come see the summers in Devildom! It's brutal this time of year.

What were the odds of that message popping up as Bokuto strolled over to open a window (the AC was _powerful_ ), only for both of them to feel like they were uncomfortable close to an open firepit? _At least he's telling the truth._

"Shut that damn window!"

"Already on it, bro!" Bokuto grunted as, for some reason, it took more force to close the window than to open it.

He could see Bokuto struggling to close it by himself. With a devious grin, Kuroo mustered enough energy to stand up and practically fling himself at his friend.

"I won't hesitate, BITCH!"

"What th- GOD DAMNIT KUROO!!"

* * *

Incessant knocking on the door woke Bokuto out of a dead sleep, cutting his snore midway as he sat up. Kuroo napped on the couch situated on the opposite side of the room (when he says that the demon brothers decked his room out, _they decked it out_ ), slow breaths giving away that he was still asleep. The ebony-haired middle blocker even laughed a but in his sleep, which quickly devolved into incoherent muttering.

Since Kuroo slept like the dead, Bokuto didn't bother to tiptoe. As he made his way over to the door, the knocking had turned into banging, so he opened it only to get a fist rapping on his forehead.

"Shit - " The one and only Mammon cursed, immediately pulling back. "Why'd you gotta open it then? I wouldn't have to knock so loud if you answered the first time!"

Bokuto held one hand up to his forehead, using the other to wave him off with a smile. "My bad, dude. I was pretty exhausted yesterday."

"Who cares about that?!" Mammon brushed him off as he grabbed his arm roughly, pulling him down the hallway. Bokuto winced as pain laced up where Mammon gripped him, but he didn't want to offend the other.

"We gotta get ready to buy your uniforms, remember? We're goin' with Asmo and your buddy." He paused in thought for maybe a split second - Bokuto didn't know, he had just woken up and was _very_ confused - and looked back at him.

Well, more like glared. Bokuto briefly wondered what he did to offend the white-haired demon, his thoughts being cut off by the other. "Where's that other human, anyways? Asmo's lookin' for 'im."

"Oh, he slept in my room." Bokuto answered. "We just talked about this and that until it was really late, but we're used to staying up." He grinned. "You could say that we're...night owls."

If Kuroo was there with them, he'd argue that it was only Bokuto who was an owl, because _he himself was totally a cat_ and _how dare he even assume that he's some petty bird -_

\- But he wasn't with them, and Mammon had actually mentioned something about Asmo going to wake him up (good luck to Asmo, Kuroo could sleep through an apocalypse if one even happened) and eating breakfast and getting a tour of the House so now Bokuto was _excited_ -

"Oi, human!" Mammon snapped his fingers in his face, frowning at him. "Aren't ya listening?"

Bokuto nodded, eyes wide and a smile on his face. He was doing his damndest to listen so he could avoid a repeat of yesterday, and who knew what would happen if he was caught off-guard?

Kuroo wasn't here to help him, so he had to help himself. But Mammon was here too, so he could afford to relax a bit, right?

"I am! I'm honestly stoked for it; I can't wait to see more of this place!"

Mammon snorted in what he assumed was amusement, puffing out his chest. "Well, that's because _I'm_ the one takin' time out of my schedule to show ya around, so you better be grateful!"

The wing spiker nodded enthusiastically. "I am grateful, honestly. You don't have to do this, but you are. Thank you."

Bokuto couldn't see it, but Mammon struggled to respond to the genuine compliment. "Wh- Of course!" The demon stopped in his tracks, letting go of his arm and putting a finger up. "An' out of the kindness of my heart, I'll tell ya somethin'. Since you're a human, you can die in a place like this. If a demon approaches ya and none of us are around, run. The only other option is to die, and I don't think you want that huh?"

The hairs on Bokuto's arms raised at the information, but nonetheless he nodded. Mammon looked appeased by the simple motion, going on to say that they were leaving to go shop after breakfast when a particular angry shout interrupted him.

" _MAMMON!!!_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes, Satan: The King of Passive-Aggressiveness
> 
> This one took longer to get out and is more boring due to the plot moving forward, and me having to explain quite a few things. I had to cut myself off before it was too long lmao
> 
> What's this? A cliffhanger?? I forgot they were a thing until this chapter was born, so uhh....
> 
> Until Chapter 7!


	7. There's Just More Soup (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bokuto gets roped into a scheme with the most unlikely person. Kuroo is as impossible as always. And, finally, extreme dad jokes result in some interesting developments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna go ahead and say it:
> 
> I love Mammon.
> 
> I love him and I love the Haikyuu boys AND the other demon boys, but one day his, um...ideas are gonna end up with someone dying.
> 
> Thank you for all the kind reviews! I'm sorry about the typical plot, but it will deviate in the future!
> 
> Characters (+ Usernames)
> 
> SucreFrenzyOrBust2020: Levi  
> RageCat: Satan  
> ThePrettyOne: Asmo  
> Mammoneyyy: Mammon  
> Marshmallow: Beel  
> StickIntheMud: Lucifer  
> HeyHeyHeyyy: Bokuto  
> OyaOyaOyaaa: Kuroo
> 
> *Trigger Warning: Small panic attack this chapter (in the beginning), and uhhh that's it I guess*

***10 Minutes Prior to Confrontation***

_**\- 345 (3) -** _

**[6:02am]**

**ThePrettyOne:** It should be a crime to be up this early.

 **RageCat:** 💬

 **RageCat:** This is pretty standard for me. Besides, demons don't really need sleep now do they?

 **ThePrettyOne:** I knowww, but my skin will become rough and damaged if I don't sleep for at least 8 hours every day!

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** 💬

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** Why are you guys discussing this in THIS gc?

 **ThePrettyOne:** Oh hush, Levi! You don't even sleep; I can just hear your skin crying out from neglect!

**RageCat: 💬**

**RageCat:** Asmo, is there a reason why you felt the need to tell us that you woke up earlier than usual? Why DID you, anyways?

 **ThePrettyOne:** I'm glad you asked, dear brother of mine!

 **ThePrettyOne:** I'm supposed to go shopping with the humans for RAD uniforms. Even if I didn't want to go, Lucifer would've made me.

**ThePrettyOne: 💬**

**ThePrettyOne:** Mammon's supposed to be coming along as well, since he's in charge of the other human. He should be up right around now, too.

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** Mammon?

**SucreFrenzyOrBust2020: 💬**

**SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** Did you just say...Mammon?

 **ThePrettyOne:** Um...yes?

 **RageCat:** What's wrong, Levi?

**SucreFrenzyOrBust2020: Mammon's dead. I'll seriously kill him this time.**

**ThePrettyOne:** ...Oh my...Mammon's really done it this time, hasn't he?

 **RageCat:** When has he not brought it upon himself? He deserves whatever he's getting.

* * *

" _MAMMON!!_ "

Whoever it was, they were loud. And very, very, angry. Bokuto was too busy admiring the set of pipes this person (er, demon) had to notice the way Mammon tensed up, but a harsh shove had him stumbling backwards and his attention returning to the situation before him.

They weren't alone in the hallway anymore. Another demon, one who he didn't recognize, was glaring at Mammon with such an intensity that Bokuto kind of expected Mammon to burn right on the spot.

_Wait, demons don't burn, right? Since this is H- Devildom. I hope Mammon will be okay._

"Listen up, human." Mammon whispered loud enough for it to barely classify as a whisper anymore, "Do you remember what I told ya if you ended up in a life-or-death situation?"

Oh shit. Oh _shit._ Bokuto's eyes snapped to Mammon's as he nodded. This was real. He was going to have to run as fast as he could, which he was confident in until the stray thought of _How fast can demons go?_ entered his mind, making him clam up.

"If one of us has to die today at Levi's hands, it ain't gonna be me!"

_Wha - ?_

He was moving. He was moving, but he didn't remember taking a single step out of his own will. Mammon had grabbed his shirt and practically threw him somewhere. Where was he even going?

He was moving forward, towards...

Towards the unknown demon...!

Bokuto scrambled to regain his footing, going still when he realized that a highly pissed demon was now only a few feet away from him. Was Mammon okay, at least? This demon was mad at _him_ , after all.

"That stupid lowlife...all he's ever good at is running away." _Ouch._ That was a bit harsh, wasn't it? Bokuto frowned, opening his mouth to defend the demon in charge of him when he remembered that murder was still radiating off of the other in waves.

The menacing aura died down. "And you, human. You're stupid for letting Mammon sacrifice you."

 _Sacrifice...?_ Bokuto's confusion must've shown on his face, because the other demon sighed.

"Don't you get it? Mammon used you to get away. Oh, how will I ever get my money and my Seraphina figurine back...?"

There was only one part of this entire conversation he was focused on. "He...He wouldn't just _leave_ , right?" He said without thinking, hope laced into his voice. "He's supposed to look after me. There's no way he would let me die."

The other snorted, gesturing to something behind him. "Well, do you see him anywhere?"

Bokuto turned around. The silence of the hallway greeted him, confirming Murderous-Guy's words.

_He...really left..._

"Let's team up. I want you to get him to hand over my money AND my figurine..."

 _He wouldn't **completely**_ _leave! Maybe...Maybe he's hiding somewhere in case I'm_ really _in trouble!_

"...thing he loves the most in the world is his credit card, Goldie. Lucifer has it hidden away somewhere. I want you to go talk to him..."

 _Oh god he really left him._ Bokuto felt like his heart stopped beating. _He left him to die in his place, he was abandoned all over again and it was getting harder to breathe, where were his friends? Where was Akaashi, where was Kuroo? What did he do wrong this time, why weren't they here? No one was here and he was alone and he was going to die, he was going to die **all alone -**_

"Hey, human!" Murderous-Guy (His name was Levi, right? Which brother on the group chat was that again? It didn't matter because he was going to _die -_ ) Took a step forward before stopping, a wary expression appearing on his face. "Aren't you listening? Are...Are you okay?"

It's okay. _It's okay._ He still has Kuroo here ( _ **unless he left him too**_ ), and Levi wasn't actually going to kill him. Besides, he didn't even know Mammon for that long. Him leaving was perfectly justifiable. Bokuto took in a shuddering breath, recalling the grounding exercises he went through with Akaashi whenever he got this bad, and tried to smile.

It came out better than he actually felt. "Yeah, I'm good. Just got lost in thought, is all. So, what do we do again?"

Levi rolled his eyes, saying something about a "slow normie" before grabbing his arm (although it was gentle, unlike - _unlike -_ ) and dragging him to his room. He was talking a little as they walked, and Bokuto made sure to nod when it seemed appropriate, but his thoughts quickly returned to elsewhere as a pang of hurt settled in his heart.

_I should really get used to being left behind._

* * *

Mammon breathed a quiet sigh of relief once he heard footsteps echo down the rest of the hallway, cutting off when a door was open and promptly slammed shut. It seemed like Levi hadn't decided to give chase, which would've been awkward if he had turned the corner to see him standing there.

" _He...He wouldn't just_ leave, _right?_ "

He growled at the random memory. Why did it even pop up in the first place? He had no qualms leaving a stupid human to die! B-Besides, it was his own damn fault for placing so much trust in him! He wanted to live to see another day!

" _He's supposed to look after me. There's no way he would let me die._ "

His back hit the wall with a dull _thump_ , sliding down against it as he balled his hands into fists. His brain _really_ needed to shut up right about now, 'cause it wasn't helping. He had to focus on getting Goldie back from Lucifer, because that's _normal_ and that's what he's _supposed_ to do, right? Plus, he _wanted_ to be able to goof off and buy things and get into trouble and have someone patch him up again -

_He was supposed to look after that human, too, but it seems like he fucked that up like he fucked everything else up._

Shut up shut up shut up _shut up_. Mammon buried his face in his hands. Why was he hung up on the words of some stupid human he had just met?

_"I am grateful, honestly. You don't have to do this, but you are. Thank you."_

_Because he was nice. He was nice, and he didn't know how to handle that so he pushed him away and now the human would **stay** away and he would go back to being scummy Mammon that should just go die._

Good. That meant that Mammon wouldn't have to deal with him all the time, because _time_ was _money_ and he couldn't afford to waste it.

(Deep in his heart, he knew that he was just afraid of being rejected again because he didn't know how much more he could take before he broke.)

* * *

Kuroo knew that there was something up with Bokuto.

There was something up with Mammon, too. The two were usually so boisterous, but when they had shopped for uniforms with him and Asmo, they were quiet. Subdued, even. Even Asmo seemed disturbed by his brother's lack of voice, so he had attempted to fill the void with his own. The Avatar of Lust went on to complain about the length of time it took for Kuroo to wake up (17 minutes, which wasn't too bad actually) and how the human only did when he pinched his nose to cut off his intake of air.

(Kuroo had woken up choking on his own breath, faintly hearing Asmo's long list of complaints since his blood was too busy receiving the fucking _life source it so desperately needed_ again. Eh, it was bridge under water now.)

It worked, for a bit. They got their measurements and their clothes (according to Asmo, R&R clothing is a _must-have_ ) and left with their respective bags, and Bokuto had yet to comment on how it was eternally night in Devildom so there were fairy lights strung up between the rows of trees.

The rooster head leaned over to him, whispering. "With the serious face you're pulling, maybe you should've gone to Shiratorizawa instead of Fukurodani."

It was the iconic phrase that never failed to make them devolve into a fit of giggles, but this time Bokuto just grunted. "You should text Oikawa that."

He already did, every day at the same time even, but that wasn't the point now was it? Kuroo frowned, nudging his friend's arm with his own. Bokuto's mind was seriously elsewhere, and while it's good to space out every now and then this...wasn't normal. "Hey man...are you good? Is it the lack of meds?"

Bokuto shook his head. He certainly wasn't in his emo mode, but he was sad again and it frustrated Kuroo that he wouldn't even _talk_ to him - "I'll tell you later."

\- Well. Seems like he'd find out later, then.

He did. Once they had been within the safety of his own room this time, Kuroo locked the door and turned to Bokuto with his hands on his hips and an eyebrow raised expectantly.

And Bokuto explained _everything_.

Fuck not knowing the layout of the place. If Mammon thought that he could use Bokuto, kind, energetic, sweet, _wholesome_ Bokuto as a fucking meat shield, then the demon had another thing coming.

As if sensing his thoughts, the wing spiker tried to downplay it. "It's alright, bro. I still ended up fine."

"No, you didn't. He fucking went and - " Ooh, Kuroo was close to seeing red he was that pissed. There were different ways to express anger: Kenma's was the silent one that stewed, waiting for the right opportunity to strike. Yamamoto's was explosive and ready to detonate, catching anyone and everyone in the blast radius.

Kuroo's usually flipped between the two. Now, in this moment, it was leaning towards Yamamoto's.

"Dude, it's fine,"

" - and fucking _used you_ and _abandoned you -_ "

"It's _okay_ ," Bokuto stressed, placing a grounding hand on his shoulder. Red stopped trying to creep into his vision, and he forced himself to relax for the sake of his friend. "He was just scared. I'm fine, really."

Anyone with working eyeballs could see that Bokuto was in fact _not fine_ , but Kuroo didn't want to bring it up in fear of making his friend feel worse.

There had to be something he could do. He just...has to make him feel the opposite: _better._

But how?

\- Oh, he was a dumbass. What other answer _could_ there be?

Kuroo turned to ruffle Bokuto's hair, forcing an easygoing grin. His blood still simmered beneath his skin, but he was doing his damndest to keep it together. "Alright, I believe you. Now let's watch some memes and cat videos until we fall asleep."

Bokuto shoved his hand away (although not unkindly), smiling a little as he flopped onto Kuroo's bed like a corpse. "Make sure there's cute owl videos in there, too!"

Kuroo snickered, leaving his D.D.D. to charge in favor of pulling up YouTube. "You know I never fail to deliver the freshest, most spiciest of clips."

They watched video compilations until it was nearing midnight. Bokuto at that point was falling asleep where he sat, and Kuroo didn't have the heart to send him back to his own room even though he was certainly feeling better than before so he moved him to the couch. As they both settled in for the night, he asked a question that had been nagging him for a while.

"How do you plan on asking Luci about the card?"

Even though it was pretty dark, Kuroo could see the vague outline of his friend as he sleepily shrugged. "To be honest? I dunno. I don't really know him, so I might just ask him straight up. Seems like he'd appreciate that."

Kuroo gasped. "Bro! That ruins the whole fun of it!"

Bokuto snickered, the blankets rustling as he settled into a more comfortable position. "What, are you gonna do it?"

There was no hesitation. "Absolutely."

His friend snorted. "Once he knows it's us, he's gonna look back on this day and hate you just a tiny bit more. Although he might already because of your ugly rooster head."

The next gasp from Kuroo was out of mock offense. "Excuse me?! This hair is a _statement!_ And I'm goddamn gorgeous, thank you very much!"

"SHE IS VERY GORGEOUS TO ME!!" Bokuto whispered (which classified as what normal talking volume was to the average person), making Kuroo choke on his breath for the second time that day.

He wouldn't let Bokuto down.

* * *

"So?" Bokuto asked once Kuroo had strolled into the classroom at RAD, curiosity gnawing at him.

Kuroo lifted his hand to his chin, stroking the imaginary beard there. It made Bokuto snort; honestly, who was Kuroo trying to fool with his "bad boy" look? He was just a dork. "He said he froze it."

"Who froze what?"

The sudden sound of Levi's voice made Bokuto jump. Surprisingly, the otaku was the one to offer to walk with them, as Mammon was nowhere to be found during breakfast. (Although he assumed that it was only to discuss a battle plan with him.) Bokuto introduced Kuroo to him, and even though it was a bit of a rocky start they were on better terms once he stepped in to mediate.

"Luci- _ferrr_ said that he froze the credit card." Kuroo repeated, looking off to the side as he chuckled. Bokuto grinned, not missing how the bedhead scrambled to cover his tracks in front of Levi, and sent him a knowing look once he caught his eye. (Kuroo proceeded to flip him off, which made him snicker.)

Levi froze (hA), not seeming to notice Kuroo's mistake. "...Are you absolutely sure that's what Lucifer said?"

"Ya." Kuroo responded, sitting down next to Bokuto and pulling out his D.D.D. They both had agreed to leave their personal phones in the rooms provided to them, and it was a miracle that the D.D.D. charger was compatible with them. "I can even show you the texts, dude."

Bokuto raised a brow as Kuroo showed them the text messages he and Lucifer exchanged mere moments ago.

 **Kuroo:** About the credit card...You really meant that you froze it?

 **Lucifer:** Yes.

 **Kuroo:** For real??

 **Lucifer:** Yes.

 **Kuroo:** Are you sure???

 **Lucifer:** As I've said before, yes.

 **Kuroo:** Are you sure you sure????

 **Lucifer:** _Yes._

 **Kuroo:** No cap?????

 **Lucifer:** Focus on your studies. This discussion ends now, unless you truly wish to test my patience in person.

Levi winced. He could just _hear_ the agitation rolling off of Lucifer in waves. "You have a death wish, you know."

Kuroo shrugged, leaning back and pocketing the device. "He's basically trying to say that he has the bigger dick out of the both of us. In short? It eezzz what it eezzz."

Even though Levi hurried to a seat far away from theirs (because he didn't want to associate with "humans", but the word "normie" _may_ or may not have been tacked on at the end of that) once the bell rang, Bokuto could see a hint of a smile form at Kuroo's words.

It looked like he enjoyed the references just as much as they did.

Once classes ended and they hurried back to the House of Lamentation (Asmo escorted them, grumpy because apparently Mammon had a photoshoot and couldn't do it), Levi told him to meet in the kitchen at midnight.Bokuto was confused about why they would meet in the _kitchen_ of all places if they were trying to find a credit card, but he had already assured the demon that he would be there.

( _Well,_ they _would be there. Kuroo decided to tag along, saying that this was "some shit he NEEDED to see go down", and Bokuto was secretly grateful for his friend's presence._ )

"Okay, we're alone." Levi confirmed, having poked his head out into the hallway seconds prior. He turned to face them, raising a finger up. "You said that Lucifer froze the card, right? That leaves only one option."

Bokuto was lost. Freezing just meant that you couldn't use it to buy stuff anymore, right? So how did Levi figure it out from just one clue?

Kuroo, however, seemed to realize something if the wide grin on his face was anything to go by. "You're kidding me."

Levi shook his head. "Does it _look_ like I'd joke about this? It's the only explanation."

"Uh," Bokuto started, immediately being shushed by the other two, "Can someone please explain?"

"The dad jokes, bro," Kuroo whispered back, sounding sorely disappointed in him, "The dad jokes! Remember when we went a whole week dressed as dads and told the most horrific jokes known to man?"

 _Oh_ , did Bokuto remember. Akaashi didn't talk to him for two whole days after the week was up, and it was _agony._ He wasn't doing it again if it meant the same thing would happen. "So? What does this have to do with a credit card?"

Kuroo _tsked_ , wagging a finger as he opened the fridge. "If he said he froze it, then there's only one place it _could_ be."

The lightbulb went off in Bokuto's head, and he gaped. "The _freezer??_ "

"Bingo!" Kuroo responded, like it was perfectly rational to even _consider_ that a stoic, serious, stern, intimidating person like Lucifer would indulge in a _dad joke_ as punishment. The raven-haired human happily pulled out random things from the freezer once he located it, digging deeper in search of the fabled credit card.

Actually, once Bokuto looked closer, the food all looked the same save for a tub of ice cream Levi said he hid from Beel a couple thousand of years ago. They were in bowls, they were red, and...were those _vegetables?_

"Soup. It's fucking _soup_." Kuroo's voice came out muffled since the upper half of his body was currently in the freezer. Bokuto held onto his legs as Levi continued to act as lookout, fearing that his bro would fall in otherwise.

"What do you mean, "soup"?" He whispered harshly, arms jerking a bit as Kuroo suddenly twisted to face him.

A small container got chucked at his head, hitting the floor with a muted _bang_ after it ricocheted off of him. "There's just more soup."

"What do you mean, "there's just more soup"?"

Kuroo paused, pushing something to the side. Once he resumed digging, amusement seeped into his voice as he responded. "I'm at soup!"

"What store are you in??"

"THE SOUP STORE!"

" _WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE?!_ "

They both started laughing, unable to keep their cool any longer. The had completely butchered the joke, but hey, at least it was still recognizable. Levi shushed them with an annoyed look, although his eyes gleamed in recognition.

Seriously. What _hadn't_ he heard before?

"Aha, I got it!" Kuroo whooped silently, motioning for Bokuto to pull him back out. Once he was on his two feet, he held up a block of ice with a credit card in it.

The three gathered around it once Kuroo set it down on the counter, staring at it like they expected it to come alive and do a tap dance. "Uh," Kuroo said intelligently, " _How_ , exactly, do we get it out?"

Levi took it into his hands with ease, opening the microwave and popping it in. "Now we just wait, I guess."

"I...don't think metal's supposed to go in there." Bokuto remembered that from his childhood. Metal forks and microwaves caused explosions and meltdowns like no other.

"It ain't!"

A new figure pushed between them, pressing _CANCEL_ and taking out the now-thawed card. Bokuto glanced over to see Mammon rubbing it against his cheek, a happy smile on his face. What was he even doing up this late?

"Oh, Goldie!" He absolutely _cooed_ , "I found ya! Now I can go back to buying things!"

"Not so fast!" Levi said, swiping the card from his hands. He pointed at Bokuto, which made the Fukurodani ace jump at the abruptness of it. "You get it back once you make a pact with him!"

Kuroo had jumped to sit on the countertop at this point, sipping some apple juice. How Devildom managed to get something as normal as _apple juice_ , Bokuto would never know. Kuroo slid him over a glass and he decided to not question it further, taking a swig and relishing in the cooling it provided. "What a plot twist!"

"Not a chance, Levi!" Mammon growled, trying to grab his card back but to no avail. "Oi! Give it! I ain't making a pact with some human!"

"Do you want me to tell Lucifer that you took your card back?" Levi threatened. "You know how loud I can yell. I bet he'd come running to see who the culprit is."

"Yeah," Bokuto nodded, "He's really got some pipes. It's perfect for when there's sports games; it hypes your team up."

Mammon furrowed his brow in confusion at Bokuto's addition, but he quickly shook it off with a growl. He was tense, and it looked like he would rather die than say what he did next. "...Fine. C'mere, human."

"Y'know, that _human_ has a name." Kuroo said nonchalantly, taking a harsher sip of his drink than before. Bokuto laughed nervously; it seemed like Kuroo still held a grudge about what he told him. He kinda hoped that he had forgotten, be he guessed that he was just trying to be a good friend.

Mammon waved him off. "You're just humans in a place full of demons, so it's "human" for ya. Now c'mere! Don't make me stretch this out any longer than I have to!"

Bokuto frowned. "You don't have to do this, you know. I don't want to force you to do anything you don't want to. I know how much it sucks."

"I- Wh- " Mammon fumbled for words, his face unsure of what emotion it wanted to convey. Even though Mammon had left him for dead earlier, it made him sad to think that the white-haired demon normally couldn't do what he wanted to do. It was likely that his brothers never really gave him an option, too.

He didn't want to become just another name on that list.

He jumped when Mammon took his hand and shook it. A warm feeling (similar to the sun, but more crude and rough around the edges and _gentle_ ) washed over him before disappearing. "There," Mammon grumbled, pulling away and crossing his arms, "The pact's done."

"Now tell him to give me back my figurine!" Levi demanded. " _And_ my money!"

Bokuto winced, looking at Mammon with hesitation in his eyes. Mammon made eye contact before looking away, pocketing Goldie and shoving his fists into his jacket.

"Just...do it."

"I'm sorry." Bokuto apologized sincerely before repeating what Levi said. The effect was immediate; Mammon trekked back to his room, emerging five minutes later with the figurine and handing it over to Levi before pulling out some cash, giving it away too.

"YOU GOT _HELL SAUCE_ ON HER?!"

"SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH! _YOU_ DIDN'T HAVE TO MAKE A PACT WITH A HUMAN!!"

Two days in, and already one of them had made a pact with a demon.

That Facebook group would lose their shit over this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: Okay, this is a comedic fic, so we need comedy -
> 
> Brain: *Writes angst*
> 
> Me: Bro wtf, just...why -
> 
> Brain: I mean...you just gotta am I right?
> 
> Bokuto 👉 Fucked up by being treated like shit in the past 👈 Mammon
> 
> (Please let them patch things up between them and be friends - )
> 
> I swear, the next chapter won't have any angst in it! And thank you again for the kind reviews, they give me sustenance -


	8. The Vibe Zone (Part 1): Remember, CDIOM Is A Comedy Fic! ...Right??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HeyHeyHeyyy: Okay, but the chonk scale tho
> 
> HeyHeyHeyyy: Can ANY animal be weighed with it??
> 
> OyaOyaOyaaa: IT IS FOR CATS AND CATS ONLY, ANY BIRDS AND OTHER ANIMALS GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE CHONK SCALE
> 
> SucreFrenzyOrBust2020: This chat is cursed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is completely text-based, and I figured that we all needed a break from the heavy stuff. Hence why it's called the Vibe Zone. More will appear in the future, since apparently I can't write comedy without angst. (The angst's not gonna get better either lmao)
> 
> Characters (+ Usernames):
> 
> SucreFrenzyOrBust2020: Levi  
> RageCat: Satan  
> ThePrettyOne: Asmo  
> Mammoneyyy: Mammon  
> Marshmallow: Beel  
> StickIntheMud: Lucifer  
> HeyHeyHeyyy: Bokuto  
> OyaOyaOyaaa: Kuroo
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

_**\- It's Brittany Bitch (8) -** _

**[1:08am]**

**HeyHeyHeyyy:** 💬

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Okay, but the chonk scale tho

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Can ANY animal be weighed with it??

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** IT IS FOR CATS AND CATS ONLY, ANY BIRDS AND OTHER ANIMALS GET THE FUCK OFF OF THE CHONK SCALE

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** BUT OTHER ANIMALS?? ARE CHONKY BOIS TOO???

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** I cannot believe this sacrilege I'm hearing

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** You did not just make me read such SLANDER

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** YES I DID, YOU WANNA GO BRO

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** YEAH BRO, SQUARE UP

 **RageCat:** 💬

 **RageCat:** Are you two...fighting?

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** BET

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** BET

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** FIRST ONE TO LOSE IS THE ULTIMATE LOSER

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** THAT'S THE POINT OF LOSING, DUMBASS

**SucreFrenzyOrBust2020: 💬**

**SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** I...think they are?

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** Satan, what are you even doing up, anyways? It's super late.

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** I'M NOT THE DUMBASS, YOU'RE THE DUMBASS

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** YOU'RE SUCH A DUMBASS THAT I'M TAKING A PAGE OUT OF KAGEYAMA'S BOOK AND CALLING YOU A BOKE

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** BOKE BOKE BOKEEE

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** ISN'T THAT??? THE SAME THING?????

 **RageCat:** I recently bought a book about bird watching. Even though there are no birds in Devildom, I'd like to go to the human realm and spend an afternoon watching them.

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** You've always had a strange soft spot for cats. Does it extend to all animals, too?

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** SHUT UP IT DOESN'T MATTER STOP FOCUSING ON THE LITTLE THINGS

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** WHAT THE FU C K IS UP KYLE, NO WHAT THE FUCK DUDE

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** STEP THE F U C K UP

 **RageCat:** Hm...I suppose. Cats will always be my favorite, but recently I've had the urge to look up on birds so I'm indulging myself.

 **RageCat:** Maybe I'll read about marine life next.

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** MY NAME ISN'T EVEN KYLE

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** THAT ISN'T THE POINT

**OyaOyaOyaaa: 💬**

**OyaOyaOyaaa:** 5 ROUNDS OF SMASH, WHOEVER LOSES HAS TO PAY FOR THE WINNER'S MEAL WHEN WE GO TO BURKER KONG, NO MATTER WHAT THEY ORDER

 **RageCat:** Five rounds of WHAT

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** FUCKING BET

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** PREPARE TO BE DEMOLISHED

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** OH, AND IF I WIN THEN YOU HAVE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT OTHER ANIMALS BELONG ON THE CHONK SCALE TOO

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** FUCKING B E T

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** IF I WIN, YOU ALSO HAVE TO ADMIT THAT ONLY CATS ARE ALLOWED ON THE CHONK SCALE

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** 💬

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** They're gone.

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** 💬

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** I'm pretty sure they meant Super Smash Bros., Satan. It's a video game.

 **RageCat:** Okay. Thank you for clarifying.

 **RageCat:** 💬

 **RageCat:** I felt like I was losing brain cells as I read their argument.

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** You and me both.

**[4:13am]**

**OyaOyaOyaaa:** BITCH YOU DID NOT NEED TO ORDER THAT MUCH

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** BITCH YES THE FUCK I DID, YOU WERE TRYING TO KEEP OTHER ANIMALS OFF OF THE CHONK SCALE

**OyaOyaOyaaa: 💬**

**OyaOyaOyaaa:** 💬

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** You only got lucky because you had Chrom in your team.

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** YOU HAD BOWSER AND GANANDORF ON YOURS???

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** bowsettesaysfuckyou.png

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** MoThAnDlAmP.png

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** 💬

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** We're still cool tho, right bro?

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** 💬

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Yeah bro :) I honestly had fun at BK, we should go at 3am more often

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** Send our favorite cursed video on the count of three?

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** 1

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** 2

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** 3

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** https://youtu.be/7merzCPl-Xg

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** https://youtu.be/oNVfrxkHj1M

**SucreFrenzyOrBust2020: 💬**

**SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** I -

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** Alright, I'm just gonna come out and fucking say it

 **HeyHeyHeyyy:** Congratulations for coming out of the closet??

 **OyaOyaOyaaa:** LMAO

 **SucreFrenzyOrBust2020:** This chat is cursed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's short, but like I promised there's no angst!
> 
> Can't say the same for the next chapter -


	9. Attic Steps, Midnight Conversations, Thoughts Empty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because there's no better way to help someone than by following a shady lead towards the attic. Oh and hearing voices while you're half asleep is a thing, too. Wait, is this character development??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Belphie stans, come get y'all juice...oh wait not yet my bad -
> 
> Will Bokuto and Mammon be friends? Will Lucifer ever catch a break?? When will Kuroo stop texting Oikawa that he should've gone to Shiratorizawa???
> 
> Eh, who knows.
> 
> (I got a new SSR Card yesterday: One Too Many Insults (Mammon). It's like the game knows I'm writing Mammon angst lmaoo)

It's been four days since Bokuto made a pact with Mammon, and Kuroo would be lying if he said that he wasn't jealous.

Imagine it: Knocking " _making a pact with one of the Rulers of Hell_ " off the bucket list! Bokuto didn't know just _what_ power he held in his hands!

Or maybe he did. The Fukurodani ace seemed a bit skittish around Mammon, dare he say hesitant, but it wasn't like he could blame him; the demon left him for dead, after all. It was one of Bokuto's triggers, and it hurt to see the usually optimistic and headstrong wing spiker so unsure of his next step.

But he digressed. What was he, _the_ amazing Kuroo Tetsurou, currently doing?

"Water, water..." The black-haired middle blocker mumbled sleepily as he rummaged through the fridge for the drink of life. It was currently the middle of the night in Devildom (although could you really tell?? It was eternally night here, what the _fuck_ ), and he had woken up thirsty so he decided to appease his body.

"Yoink!" He whispered with glee as he extracted a brand new bottle, twisting the cap off and taking a huge swig. He then proceeded to cough because it was _too much water too fast_ , thumping his chest as if it'd help in some form or another.

Once his coughing fit died down, he chuckled. For some reason, everything was 10x funnier when you're supposed to be quiet, and Kuroo was pretty tired so it didn't help. He lightly smacked his cheek with his free hand to get himself to stop, surprised when it actually worked.

_Welp, now it's time to go back to bed._

"...Help..."

He stopped in his tracks, eyes going wide. He...wasn't tripping, was he? It must've been his imagination. _Yeah, that has to be it. There's no way the Ghost of Christmas Past is calling out to me. I haven't even done anything **too** horrible this year!_

Although, he _was_ in Hell. He hoped that didn't mean anything.

The voice returned, a bit fainter than before. "Help...please..."

"Oh hell nah." Kuroo muttered, now fully awake. If this was some hoodoo voodoo shit, he was 100 percent _not_ messing with it. He'd like to keep his body to himself and not give it up to some spirit long past, thank you very much. He picked up his pace, double timing it back to his room.

"... _Please_..."

It...actually sounded desperate. Kuroo frowned. What if it _wasn't_ a ghost? What if someone needed help?

"I don't get paid enough for this shit," He groaned, turning on his heel to follow the voice. If he died, then it was the mysterious voice's fault. It was lucky that he was such a kind, generous person.

(Kenma would've snorted at that, saying nothing else but getting his meaning across nonetheless.)

"Yes...please, this way..."

Uh-huh, like _that_ wasn't sketchy. Kuroo's urge to jump back into bed and watch cat videos was getting stronger by the minute, but he pushed on. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he left some innocent person to suffer, or worse-- die. _It's not like I can live with myself nowadays, though._

The voice led him to a set of steps that spiraled upwards. Taking a sip of water, he hummed. This was becoming really shady, but now his sense of adventure had roared to life inside of him, making his feet go up the steps despite warning bells blaring in his head.

Until Lucifer himself stopped him.

"And where do you think you're going?" The demon's arms were crossed as he spoke, crimson eyes boring into his own.

Kuroo would vehemently deny that he jumped at Lucifer's sudden appearance, quickly regaining his wits as he swore under his breath about _stupid, petty jumpscares_. He raised an eyebrow as he pointed past him, as if it was painfully obvious where he's going. Which it was. "Uh...up?"

"This area is off-limits."

"Oops, my bad." The middle blocker shrugged, tilting his water bottle to make the contents swirl. It was a habit of his to kill time, though it wasn't like Lucifer would know that. He's just some " _lowly human_ ", after all. ( _Okay_ , he may or may not still be pissed at Mammon about that, but he had left Bokuto behind! It was perfectly justified!) "I didn't know this way was prohibited. Please excuse my sense of adventure and intrigue when I ask just _what,_ pray tell, is that way?"

"You are a human in a world of demons." Lucifer instead pointed out, tilting his head to the side and up as he looked down at him. "As such, there are some places you must not travel to. The attic is one such place."

Kuroo's eyes narrowed ever so slightly at the turn in conversation. _He **really** doesn't want me to know, does he?_ He should probably respect his wishes...for now. Lucifer may be keeping his expression unreadable, there was no way for the demon to hide the irritated look in his eyes. _I'm gonna need to find a way past there. For some reason, I don't think telling **Luci** of all people that I'm hearing things is a good idea._ Still, though...maybe he could sneak by?

The stairs creaked as Lucifer descended down towards him. He backed up to give him space to pass, but instead the demon shook his head. "I don't want you getting any funny ideas once I'm gone. You leave first."

Well, damn. At least it was worth a try. Kuroo raised his hands in surrender, chuckling as he turned to head back to his room. "Alright, alright, I'm going."

Lucifer's voice stopped him. "Oh, and one more thing."

Kuroo leisurely swiveled to face him, a teasing retort already sitting on his tongue before he noticed their proximity. They were nearly chest to chest at this point, and yet again Lucifer was looking down at him. _Damn, dude, give me a bit of space! Intimidate me afterwards!_

Lucifer leaned in, contempt swimming in his crimson-colored eyes as he looked down at him. "Just because your friend made a pact with my brother within the first week of your stay doesn't mean that the rest of my brothers will be so easy. I, for one, would rather cut off both of my hands and feet before making a pact with either of you."

Okay, now Kuroo was starting to get a bit irritated. There was no need for Lucifer to go off like that, and even though he was fine with the implications towards himself, he was _not_ okay with the ones towards Bokuto. "Sounds like you got a problem with humans." He shot back, staring him dead in the eye. Screw Lucifer and his intimidation tactics; Kuroo wasn't taking his shit! "What's up with that, anyways? _'Human'_ this, _'human'_ that. Why does race matter so much? I thought it was just a human problem. Unless there's something you're not telling me, huh _Lucifer?_ "

He drawled his name out, a smirk that was borderline a sneer curling his mouth upwards. A hand painfully clamped down onto his shoulder, making him wince. "Remember your place, _human._ " _Hoo boy_ , Lucifer sounded agitated. He was actually worried that his shoulder would get dislocated with the force Lucifer latched onto it. "Here in Devildom, demons are the superior species. _Not_ humans. I could kill you where you stand while barely lifting a finger."

"But you won't." Kuroo said calmly, although on the inside he was screaming at himself to gtfo of there _right fucking now_. What if Lucifer saw his bluff and killed him where he stood? He couldn't just leave Bokuto alone in a place like this; he'd be taken advantage of, or worse.

They had to stick together. If it meant living to see another day, he had to diffuse the situation somehow, so he continued. "If you did, it would go directly against Diavolo's dream. Right?"

A couple of tense moments passed, enough for Kuroo to think that this really would be the end. _Damnit, I left my will in my room._ Oh well; he was only upset that he couldn't die on his own terms, where everyone he cared about was safe and happy. (He knew how he'd go out, too: either by doing something stupid like jumping out of a plane without a working parachute, or-- _or--_ )

To his surprise (and relief), Lucifer released his hold on him as he took a step back. "Yes, that's correct. You are one of our guests; the repercussions of your death would not bode well."

Kuroo snorted. "For me or for you?"

It wasn't easily noticeable, but the corners of Lucifer's mouth twitched upwards in what he assumed was amusement. "Both, I suppose."

The middle blocker actually chuckled at that, trying to fully shake off the tension from earlier without the demon realizing. Even though he didn't show it, he was pretty spooked by what Lucifer said.

He'd definitely have to watch his mouth more often.

"Now, it's time to head to bed." Lucifer said, making Kuroo move further away from the stairs and towards the hallway where his room was. "Or would you like to tell me about the incident in the kitchen this morning?"

 _Oh shit_. He thought no one else knew about that. All he did was experiment with Devildom food, and yet the chemical reaction that occurred once he put his concoction in the oven made the substance explode all over the place. He had cleaned it up well before anyone could see, so how was it that _Lucifer_ of all people knew about that?

"Ah, yeah. _That_." Kuroo laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly as he looked everywhere but at Lucifer, "Oh would you look at the ti- THIS BITCH _EMPTY!_ "

He wound his arm up to throw his water at the other, who merely raised a brow at the sudden change in volume. "But you still have water inside of the container?"

Oh, Lucifer was being an ass and he knew it. Kuroo stared him dead in the eyes as he unscrewed the cap, chugging the rest of his drink and capping it before hurling it at the demon. " ** _YEET!!_** "

The bottle hit Lucifer's chest with a pitiful _thwunk_ , and Kuroo didn't stick around to see what his reaction would be. With adrenaline now coursing through his veins, he spun around on his heel and sprinted towards his room.

Lucifer could keep his five fucking cents. He was _not_ about to stand there and admit that he caused an explosion in the kitchen not even a week into his and Bokuto's stay at Devildom.

* * *

Bokuto was startled awake by the sound of footsteps thundering past his room, a door closing quite harshly to his left. _Left_...that was Kuroo's room, right?

What was he doing up so late at night?

 _Oh well,_ Bokuto rolled over onto his other side, a content sigh leaving him, I _can just ask tomorrow. It's probably nothing, anyways._

Although, he could've sworn that someone was asking for help in one of his dreams. It stopped as soon as it had started, like it was appeased somehow.

Well...maybe _appeased_ wasn't the right word. _Sated_ was more like it.

A soft knock on his door had him up and moving, though. It sounded hesitant, as if it was afraid to wake him up. _I'll always wake up if someone needs me!_

...If he wasn't dead tired before going to bed, at least. Hey, he was only human! At least he didn't sleep through everything like Kuroo did!

"Coming!" He said just before he opened the door, eyes widening in surprise once he saw who was on the other side.

"Well?" Mammon, the Avatar of Greed himself, grumbled. "Are ya gonna let me in or what?"

"Oh- " Bokuto let the door swing open more as he stepped to the side, "Uh, yeah. Sorry."

Mammon plopped himself onto his couch, crossing his arms as he bore holes into the floor with the intensity of his glare. Bokuto closed the door once he entered, moving to sit on his own bed and wrapping a blanket around himself. The atmosphere became awkward, and the wing spiker cleared his throat to try and dispel it.

"Did you, um...need something?"

It was as if his voice itself physically hurt Mammon. The demon blinked a few times, his glare shifting from the floor to him and seeming to get ten times worse as it settled on him instead.

"Of course I do! Why else would I be in some - some _human's_ room?!"

Bokuto didn't flinch this time, but he did frown. "Hey, man," He said bluntly, tired and frankly done with today's bullshit, "I love helping out if I can, but I'm pretty tired from doing my Tasks for today. So what's up? What do you need?"

Mammon's eyes widened. "Wh- You mean I don't gotta convince you or anythin'?"

Bokuto tilted his head in confusion at the question, trying his best to shake off the sleepiness that was sneaking up on him. Hey, the blanket was _really_ comfortable, okay? "No? Why would you need to?"

Mammon shook his head, growling. He gestured to Bokuto, arms waving around pretty comically. "Wh- Just - Stop doing that!"

"Doing what?"

" _That!_ " Mammon added unhelpfully, growing more and more agitated the longer Bokuto remained thoroughly and utterly confused. He even stood up to leave, the wing spiker doing the same but in an attempt to stop him.

"Does it have something to do with our pact?"

Mammon whirled, glowering at him. "Yeah, actually," He hissed. "Every single day, my brothers make fun of me 'cause I was the first one to have a pact with one of ya. So listen up! Just 'cause we have one doesn't mean that I'll do what ya say. Got it, human?"

 _Wait, what?_ Bokuto stared at him in shock. Aren't pacts about equality? And did Mammon really expect to just be - to just be -

_Used?_

"Dude..." Bokuto started off, having nearly a million things to say but unable to pick even one, "Aren't pacts about equal trust?"

"There ain't no _trust_ in this pact." Mammon sneered. "Did you seriously think that I wanted this? To have a pact with some...some _human?_ " The last word left his mouth like it was something vile, and even though what he said was scathing there was no way the wing spiker could miss the absolute misery that swam in his two-toned eyes.

He was right. He was _right_ , but it still hurt. Bokuto's gaze lowered to the floor. _Why?_ Why did it matter if one of them was human, if one of them was a demon? They were both people-- beings with thoughts of their own, emotions of their own, passions of their own.

Regrets of their own.

Bokuto tried to live with no regrets, pushing forward and pulling those who were too busy stuck in their own heads with him. Despite his best efforts, though, there were a few things he regretted:

Not being able to keep the abandoned puppy he found in a box and took home. Forcing his family to spend money they nearly didn't have on his medication because he was born weird. Not enjoying volleyball until it was nearly too late.

Now, he regretted not knowing what to do to cross the rift between him and Mammon.

Call it a gut feeling, but Bokuto _knew_ that Mammon was a good person. Yes, he was harsh and unforgiving with his words, taking nearly every opportunity he could to remind the Fukurodani ace that he was nothing more than a " _lowly human_ ", but when they first made the pact....

He could never forget the warmth that had seeped into him, _soft_ and _bright_ and _gentle_ like sunlight.

If Mammon really _was_ a bad guy, then he wouldn't feel that warm...right?

Bokuto wanted to be his friend. Even after being verbally abused, even after being left behind, he wanted to be friends. It took a couple of days to figure that out, but once he did the feeling just grew.

But Mammon didn't feel the same way.

"We can break the pact."

Mammon's eyes widened in shock, blinking in disbelief at what he just heard. "...What did you just say?"

"We can break the pact." Bokuto repeated, trying his best to keep the sadness out of his voice. "You're pretty vocal about not liking the fact that you have one with me, and I don't want to make you uncomfortable. If breaking the pact is what it takes to make you happy, then I'll do it."

Not like he knew how to break it, but they'll cross that bridge once they get to it. Mammon peered at him with his mouth soundlessly opening and closing, nearly at a loss for words. "Y-...You really mean that. Don't ya?"

Bokuto glanced up at him, giving a small nod. "Yeah. I don't want to be a burden during my stay here. It's like you said earlier; this isn't a pact of trust, it was forced. It should be about mutual consent, but you had no other choice." He bowed, eyes fixating on the floor before slipping shut. He couldn't even look him in the face anymore, he was so ashamed. "I'm sorry!"

Silence. Bokuto's curiosity got the best of him and peeked up to see if Mammon was still there, only to yelp as the demon grabbed him by the collar of his tank top and jerked him to an upright position.

"What the _hell_ is wrong with ya?!" Mammon was nearly shouting now, but Bokuto didn't want to tell him to tone it down in fear of interrupting. "You have a pact with one of the strongest demons in the _world_ , and you're seriously about to throw it away? Just 'cause it'll " _make me happy_ "? What are ya, stupid?!"

Bokuto stared. "Uh," He started, "What...?"

Mammon shook him violently. "You are! You're stupid! Stupid stupid _stupid!_ **_STUPID!!_** "

Alright, that was a _little_ bit too much. Bokuto frowned, wincing at the loud volume right near his ears while seeing stars from all the shaking. "I get it, I'm stupid, so - "

"Oh no ya don't!" Mammon interrupted. He looked almost frantic, like he wanted to say something other than what spilled from his mouth. "Don't ya get it? You're stupid for wanting to give up a pact like this!"

Okay, now Bokuto was confused again. "Didn't you want this pact gone, though? You're obviously suffering because of it."

Even when it didn't seem possible, the shaking got worse. "Yeah, well, that's my own damn choice to make! Stop bein' so...so _nice_ , damnit!"

Bokuto tilted his head. He didn't want to get his hopes up, but... "So you want to keep it?"

Mammon released him, stepping back as he grumbled. "Jus' don't expect me to go and help ya whenever you ask, got it?"

Bokuto blinked. _Does this mean what I think it means?_ He beamed, holding a hand out in renewed greeting. It's better to start over, right? "Okie dokie! My name's Bokuto Koutarou, but you can just call me Bokuto! I look forward to working with you, and thank you for taking care of me!"

Damn, Akaashi would've been proud at that greeting. Mammon stared at his hand, and then at him in disbelief for the umpteenth time this hour. The demon snorted, roughly taking the extended hand with his own and giving it a short but firm shake. "You're a strange one, hu- ...Bokuto."

Bokuto missed the way Mammon's eyes softened a bit in respect as he said his name, but he was too busy focusing on something else. The fact that Mammon said his name at all made the wing spiker grin uncontrollably, a warm and happy feeling spreading through his chest. Mammon was a strange dude himself, but hey; they were making progress!

"C'mon, let's watch some videos together! I can't sleep anymore!"

"In your dreams, human!"

Oh well. One step at a time.

* * *

***Attic - 1:22am***

"Damn, and I was close too." A voice sighed, removing their hand from the door and letting it fall to his side. He moved towards his makeshift bed, laying down against his cow-printed pillow with a small huff.

At least both humans had heard him, although one was dead asleep. If Lucifer wasn't such a cockblock, then he would've already met one of them.

He rolled over onto his side, burying his face into his beloved pillow as strands of black hair fell into his eyes. _I'll try again when I wake up. It's not like I'm going anywhere, anyways._

No matter what, Belphegor _will_ leave this attic and walk through Devildom as a free man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for geeking out here, but seriously...
> 
> Mrs. GREEN APPLE? I just...I just love them so much. Their songs are helping me stay motivated to write, and I figured I'd share some of the songs I listen to as I type! (Includes but is not limited to: )
> 
> \- Soup  
> \- Coffee  
> \- On My Mind (Ensemble Version)  
> \- Party  
> \- Bokuno Koto  
> \- Simple  
> \- Hajimari (feat. Kiyosaku)  
> \- Stardom
> 
> And more!
> 
> Chapter 10 will come out soon!


	10. Two Plus Three Minus Two Makes Three, Plus Four Minus Two Makes Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting the other exchange students, one of who was a memer on their level, just created the worst team up known in all three realms. Throw that in with the Troublesome Trickster Trio (as dubbed by Kuroo), and the world may collapse. Hey, at least they get to talk about volleyball again. Who games in the darkness of their room?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for reading this fic, and I can't believe that we're at the tenth chapter already! You all have made this a really fun experience for me, because at first I was hesitant to put this out there. Thank you for your support, and I love all of your comments!!
> 
> Now, let's see what shenanigans our favorite volleyball duo get up to with the demon brothers!

Friday, 7pm. A head of white hair poked into the deserted hallway, blue and gold eyes scanning each door to make sure that they didn't magically open. Once he was certain they wouldn't, he gave a small nod to himself.

The coast was clear.

"C'mon!" He hissed behind him. "We gotta move!"

Two more heads peaked around the corner in addition to his own, spiky gray hair appearing below him as a mess of black hair bobbed above his head. With how wildly different their hair colors were, they looked like some poorly concealed caterpillar.

"For the record," Kuroo drawled, "this is such a _terrible_ idea."

Bokuto hummed in thought, brows furrowing as he stared off into the distance like he could see the future. After a solid 8 seconds of silence, he shrugged. "It...could be fun?"

A mischievous grin appeared on the middle blocker's face. "I never said I wasn't on board with it."

Mammon whirled around, glaring at the two humans. "Would ya be quiet already?! We're gonna get caught at this rate!"

...Which was rich, coming from him. He was talking in a raised voice, which _was_ better than a shout, but it was still louder than necessary. Kuroo ended up shushing him, raising a finger to his lips as he narrowed his eyes.

"Dude, _quiet._ " The bedhead whispered harshly. Mammon growled; wasn't _he_ the one being loud a couple of seconds ago? What the hell was his problem, anyways?! He didn't have to take orders from some _human!_

"It's okay, we're still good!" Bokuto whisper-shouted, getting in between them as he shot them a thumbs up. "Let's keep going!" Mammon decided to be merciful and keep walking, doing his best to tune out Kuroo's snarky reply. No, he wasn't running away from a fight! He could kill that human in less than a second!

It was just...if he did that, then Bokuto would be sad. A-And that'd be a real pain to deal with, since he's in charge of him an' all!

"The package should be in the dining hall still." Mammon found himself saying, doing his best to lower his voice to a whisper as he pulled Bokuto up with him. "And why is the other human following us, huh?"

"He said he wanted to tag along and help with this," Bokuto explained.

Mammon looked over his shoulder to see Kuroo glaring at him, arms crossed and an innocuous smile appearing on his face once Bokuto followed the demon's line of sight. The white-haired devil turned them both around, whispering louder than before as he lightly nudged him.

"Yeah? 'Cause it feels like he's our babysitter! He keeps lookin' at me like I'm gonna mess it up somehow, and The Great Mammon _never_ messes up!"

Okay, that _may_ have been a lie. Mammon's messed up plenty of times before. Bokuto tilted his head as he glanced at Kuroo again. He lifted a hand to wave, and Kuroo smiled cheerfully as he waved back. He turned back to Mammon, confusion written on his face. "I think he looks normal. Maybe it's nothing."

Oh, Mammon knew what it was about. The reason why Kuroo kept glaring at him as if he killed his child...

...It was because he found out that Mammon transferred some of the allowance Diavolo gave him to his own account! That _had_ to be it; there couldn't be any other explanation!

Mammon gulped, avoiding eye contact. How had he even found that out? He made sure to only take a little bit of Grimm, so that it looked like Kuroo bought something from when he and Asmo went shopping for the umpteenth time that week!

He just...has to act inconspicuous (Satan had said that word to him the other day, but he put the word "not" in front of it, and he most certainly did _not_ look it up to see what it meant, either!), like he did nothing wrong. He could do that! He was the GREAT Mammon, after all!

(There could be no other explanation. Mammon didn't want to entertain the thought that he was seen yet again as a nuisance, because he heard it enough from his brothers and this was a chance to start _anew, damnit_ , even if his brothers seemed hellbent on dragging his good name through the mud.

He just wanted someone to listen, and Bokuto's words from last night...they were nice. He didn't yell at him or look at him like he was lower than the dirt beneath his shoes. Maybe being human lets them see something different, and he swore he was more than just scum or an idiot and he would show the human he had a pact with just that.)

"Is this it?"

Kuroo's voice startled him out of his thoughts. He looked over to see the human turning over a package in his hands, scrutinizing it.

Mammon swiped it from him. "Oi, hands off the merchandise! I bought this myself!"

...He actually bought it with the funds he stole from Kuroo, but the finer details didn't matter!

He smirked. "Let's do some Chemistry 101."

* * *

For being one of the Rulers of Hell, Mammon was surprisingly clumsy.

It wasn't really that bad, at least in Bokuto's eyes; he could be pretty clumsy himself. The demon almost dropped the necessary ingredients as they carried them to Lucifer's room, Kuroo scowling at him as he set up the contraption. Seeing Mammon stumble a little as he trued his best to balance two buckets and the package made him a bit endearing, like he wasn't someone who could break their necks faster than he could say "Hey hey hey". He still had faults, just like him and Kuroo and the next person; he worked hard to live with those faults.

"Just set it down over there." Kuroo said, annoyance seeping into his tone. Bokuto didn't know why his best friend was still so sour towards Mammon; the "Incident" was water under the bridge, and now Mammon was his friend! ...Sorta!

Well, he at least likes him enough to pull him into his latest schemes!

(His two brain cells that strangely sounded like an exasperated Akaashi pointed out that maybe, _just maybe_ , Mammon only used him for his plans to get rich quick ( _the pyramid scheme was doomed to fail from the start_ ), but he immediately brushed the idea away. They were _sorta bros_ , and Rule 167 was that _sorta bros_ didn't use each other to further their own goals.)

The point was, if he and Mammon could be friends ( _sorta bros_ ), then Kuroo and Mammon could be friends too!

"Aaaaand we're done!" Kuroo said as they all back out of the room, the bedhead lightly tugging on the cord that looped around the doorknob and above the door.

Mammon checked his watch. "Lucifer's gonna come back to the House in five minutes."

"We gotta find a good hiding spot, then!" Bokuto said cheerfully, grabbing then both by the arm and dragging them off. Mammon spluttered at the action, not really making an active effort to get out of his grip, while Kuroo tapped away at his D.D.D. The two didn't look at each other, and was it just him or did Mammon look a little nervous?

They ended up going outside, poking their heads up to the window pane that was situated directly across from Lucifer's room. Mammon cracked the window so he could record, which Lucifer would no doubt find suspicious but Kuroo made sure to cover their tracks. The middle blocker's D.D.D. was out as well, and a devious grin was on his face as he snickered.

Bokuto only hoped that Lucifer wouldn't get hurt during their prank.

"Here he comes!" Kuroo hissed, pulling their heads back down.

"Wh- _augh!_ Oi, watch it!" Mammon whispered harshly. Bokuto shushed them both, golden eyes peeking to see the eldest brother walk down the hallway and into his room. _His shoes are pretty loud. Anyone can hear him coming a mile away. Maybe it's intentional? He **is** pretty scary. I don't know how Kuroo can antagonize him so casually._

The black-haired brother paused, and for a terrifying second Bokuto thought he noticed their hiding spot. Was this how they died? Oh no, he never got around to texting his family or Akaashi -

\- and then Lucifer opened the door, the handle clicking to indicate that it was unlocked -

\- and the concoction they all made together fell into both of the giant buckets Mammon had carried in, elephant toothpaste quickly flooding Lucifer's room and half of the ground floor in the House of Lamentation.

Mammon's cackle was almost as iconic as the howling laughter that came out of Kuroo's mouth, their phones still up and recording the entire thing. Some toothpaste threatened to come out the window, but luckily they were still safe from the mess they caused.

"Oh my _god_ ," Kuroo wheezed, "His _face!_ Did you see his face?!"

"I - " Mammon seemed to consider something, adding in a more subdued tone, "... _We_ got 'im good."

Kuroo joined his cackling. "Hell yeah we did! He didn't even see it coming!"

Bokuto beamed, shifting from foot to foot in excitement (and the fact that he couldn't stay still).

They were doing it. They were having a casual conversation with each other!

Nothing like a prank to bring people closer together!

" _ **MAMMONNNN!!!**_ "

\- And then Lucifer was wading through the toothpaste towards the window, a dark aura surrounding him as his expression was downright murderous.

Mammon yelped. "I can't got back to hangin' from the chandelier for another 5 thousand years!"

Bokuto backed away from the window, noticing how Mammon had tensed up. The demon was in fight or flight mode, just like he was with Levi, and the thought of _He's gonna leave me behind again_ seeped into his consciousness before he could stop it.

_I'm gonna die, and shit Kuroo's gonna die too because Lucifer saw our faces, and Mammon's gonna leave us to our doom and **when will people I care about stop leaving me -**_

\- But Mammon grabbed both of their arms, leading them away from the window and towards the opposite side of the House. "What're you two humans _doing?!_ If you're able to run, _**RUN!!**_ "

Bokuto managed to get his footing, never taking his wide-eyed stare off of Mammon's back.

_...He stayed..._

He didn't leave him.

He took Kuroo with them, despite Kuroo not being too friendly towards him.

He even made sure they were alright!

Bokuto lit up, a wide smile on his face. "Thanks for the quick save, bro!"

"Br- " Mammon stumbled a bit, catching himself just in time as they entered the House from a side door. The Avatar of Greed's face was red as he whipped around to face him.

"Y-You can't jus' spring that on me outta nowhere!"

Bokuto tilted his head. "...But it's true?"

Mammon tensed up, stumbling over words like " _are ya crazy_ " and " _stupid human_ ". Kuroo laughed breathlessly from beside him, still riding the high of pranking Lucifer and getting away with it. "Dude, just take the compliment. That was _awesome!_ "

"He seemed pretty mad, though." Bokuto added with a frown. "Like, madder than I thought he'd be."

Mammon smirked, fishing around his pocket before holding something up. "That's 'cause I swiped his card from his drawer before we flooded his room."

Kuroo's trademark laugh made Bokuto smile, happy that his friend was relaxed enough around Mammon to do so. "He is gonna be _so pissed_ once he finds out."

"Who will be _what_ , exactly?"

A hand clamped down on Mammon's and Kuroo's shoulders. Bokuto clammed up under the glare that seemed to rip through his very soul, frozen in place.

Lucifer's tight smile belied how deep in shit they were, elephant toothpaste dripping from his hair and clothes onto the floor. "We'll discuss this in the library, seeing how my office is _currently_ _unavailable_ at the moment. **Right, you three?** "

"...io..." Kuroo murmured. Lucifer leaned in closer to hear.

"What did you just say?"

"Troublesome Trickster Trio." Kuroo said louder, and Bokuto may get sent to an early grave just for nearly having a heart attack at how Kuroo's mouth seemed to run away on its own. "That's our name, that's our game. The Triple T."

A snort from Mammon was quickly stamped out by a death glare from his older brother.

"You three, with me. **Now.** "

Bokuto gulped.

They were so dead.

* * *

The next day at RAD, Kuroo sat at his desk bored. Well, less like _sat_ and more like _slumped over in his chair because he had no more bones left to give to manual labor and he was dead tired_.

Bokuto had gone off to the bathroom, Mammon not-so-discreetly following him to make sure he " _didn't get jumped while he was tryin' to take a leak_ ", and Kuroo had to give props to the guy for living up to the end of his pact at last. Currently, the middle blocker was left alone in the classroom, waiting for Demonology to start.

"You two have made quite the names for yourselves already."

An unfamiliar voice startled him, although he tried to not let it show. Instead, Kuroo let his eyes travel lazily to the one who spoke: A dude with white hair like Mammon, light skin, black robes...

He looked like a mage that came straight out of a fantasy rpg.

Kuroo let his eyes flicker back to the black board. "I can understand Bokuto. He has a pact with a demon, after all. It's kinda hard to believe."

The man took Mammon's seat, leaving an empty chair between them. Kuroo shot him a pointed look, and the other assured that it was only temporary.

"Not just any demon," The other hummed, "But one of the highest-ranked ones. And in under a week, at that."

Kuroo...did not like where this conversation was going. He narrowed his eyes, openly scrutinizing the other beside him. "Are you saying he's more of a target now?"

"No, he actually means the opposite."

Another man joined them, but unlike the white-haired one he didn't sit down. Kuroo immediately took stock of his slightly revealing outfit, his white robes framing him nicely, and thought _Fuck, I'm gay._ Was this guy an angel? Because he looked absolutely _divine,_ _holy **shit**_.

The white-haired man laughed. "Simeon, you took my thunder."

The black-haired man - Simeon - smiled at the other, an amused glint coming to his cerulean eyes. "Consider it payback for spoiling the newest episode of _I'm a Mage Sent to Devildom To Fix An_ _Issue That Could Get Me Killed And I Fell In Love With A Demon In The Process_ , Solomon."

Those...were words. _Holy fuck that was a long title._ And did Simeon just say _Solomon_ , like the dude who has seventy-something pacts with demons and is a _king_ Solomon?? Kuroo propped his head up on his hands, raising a brow. "So I understand the eyes on Bokuto," He started, regaining their attention, "But you said " _you two_ ". I didn't do anything, last time I recalled."

Solomon's brow raised as he stared at him like he was crazy. "Are you joking? You're known as "the human who can annoy Lucifer and get away with it unscathed". Besides," His smile turned mysterious, and Kuroo got the feeling that he was being seen through. It was a feeling he would _not_ recommend. "Not to mention that your soul is stronger than your friend's by default. It makes me wonder what exactly your family has dabbled in these past few decades..."

 _Wait, what?_ Kuroo scrunched up his nose. "We haven't done any hoodoo voodoo or ouija boards, if that's what you mean. My family can't even do the shit you see in movies...Well, my mom can chase you waving a broom around pretty good."

Solomon chuckled, waving the discussion away when Kuroo tried to ask a question. "It's a discussion for another day, I suppose. I never introduced myself: I'm Solomon, the third human exchange student and a mage."

"And I am Simeon, an exchange student from the Celestial Realm. I'm not human, but I'm not a demon either; I'm an angel."

Kuroo's eyes widened. A mage and an angel, _a literal angel_ , were sitting/standing near him and talking like it was nothing. What kind of emotion did he even _begin_ to feel? "Kuroo Tetsurou, ordinary human. Avid fan and player of volleyball."

Solomon gave him a strange look, a thoughtful smile on his face. "In Japan, the last name comes first, right? Do you prefer Kuroo or Tetsurou?"

"Kuroo's fine. It's easier to say anyhow." He responded as Simeon frowned.

"Kuroo, what exactly is volleyball?"

Kuroo smirked. "Well, let me tell you..."

He was in the middle of discussing one of his practice matches with Karasuno when Bokuto returned, a disgruntled Mammon trailing behind him. When Kuroo raised a brow, Mammon grumbled. "He kept gettin' lost somehow."

Simeon smiled at the two new arrivals. "Kuroo was telling us earlier how he went up against your team in volleyball."

Bokuto positively _beamed_ , catching most of them off-guard as he easily slid into his seat in between Kuroo and Solomon. "You mean one where I won and he lost? Hold up, you gotta hear it from Fukurodani's point of view!"

Solomon gave up his spot to Mammon, who propped his head up on the palm of his hand and tried his best to appear disinterested. Kuroo knew he wasn't fooling anybody; he kept sending furtive glances their way, eyes gleaming with anticipation and smug satisfaction when Bokuto told them about his impossible cross shot that scored the match in Fukurodani's favor.

"Oh, there's some guys in our group chat who like volleyball." The demon said offhandedly, but it made Kuroo cackle as he slapped a hand over Bokuto's mouth whenever he came close to mentioning Akaashi's name.

"Let's meet them sometime, I'd like to talk to them," He choked out. Mammon gave him a confused stare as Solomon's smile widened.

"I've met them a few times in the human world. I'll make sure to let them know you're interested."

Kuroo _cackled_ , tiredness long forgotten as he raised his hand. "Solomon, this just may be the start of a beautiful friendship."

Solomon smirked. "Indeed. I look forward to talking with you more, Kuroo." The two shook hands, and Mammon made a confused noise as Simeon shook his head in exasperation.

Speaking of, the angel had nodded in all the right parts of their stories, that interested look never leaving his face. Kuroo decided right then and there that he had the patience of a saint. "Luke would've loved to hear this, but sadly he was feeling a bit under the weather today so he had to stay back at Purgatory Hall."

Bokuto removed Kuroo's hand, laughing as he finished recounting his and Kuroo's clashes on the court. "When he comes next time, I'll make sure to tell him everything I know!"

He and Simeon exchanged smiles that put the sun to shame, and Kuroo never failed to be amazed at how fast Bokuto could make friends, regardless of species.

Simeon nodded. "I'll hold you to it, Bokuto." He tapped Solomon's shoulder, and the two began to walk back to their seats as more demons filled into the classroom. "We'll talk more during lunch, hopefully?"

Mammon scoffed and looked like he was about to decline, but Bokuto smiled as he waved. "Of course!" The wing spiker said excitedly, leaving Mammon to grumble under his breath but comply nonetheless.

Kuroo chuckled. _Bokuto's got him hook, line, and sinker._

His attention was then forced upfront as the bell rang. Lunches certainly wouldn't be boring anymore, that's for sure.

* * *

In the darkness of a room, a lone figure sat in a gaming chair as he once again carried his team to victory in _Horn: The Demon Chief Collection_.

"Ugh, that was brutal." Leviathan groaned, stretching his stiff limbs to get them to loosen up. He pulled his headphones off of his ears, turning in his seat from that monitor to another one which alerted him about the new assignment from Demonology.

He glanced at the clock on the screen. _10:47am_. He was running on Devil Fuel and the Mountain Dew he ordered from the human world for about 22 hours now, but it didn't bother him; he liked it that way.

He didn't have to go outside for school.

He could stay here and game.

Most importantly, he didn't have to socialize.

He frowned, swiping bluish-purple hair that fell into his eyes to the side of his face as he took a swig of his 4th can of Mountain Dew. Sure, the room got a bit suffocating, but that was only because his body heat had been in there for most of the day! Besides, he always made sure to air it out when everyone was off at RAD!

 _Maybe I just want a Henry to my_ _Lord of Shadows._

He shook the thought away. What was he even on about? He had Henry 2.0, his ever trusty goldfish, and none of his brothers were even remotely interested in gaming with him.

...Mammon didn't count, because he had stolen his Seraphina figurine so they weren't "Gaming Bros" anymore!

Levi turned in his seat towards his aquatic tank, where Henry 2.0 swam around happily. "Say, Henry...do you think that anyone would like a disgusting shut-in otaku like me?"

Henry 2.0 stared back at him with his wide goldfish eyes. Levi sighed, resting his head against the cool glass. "Solomon comes over to watch TSL with me sometimes, but he's not fooling anybody. He just wants to make a pact with me, by whatever means necessary."

He briefly thought about the humans who helped him get Mammon's credit card, but he immediately discarded it. "Henry, there's also two humans living here in the House.They kinda remind me of HeyHey and OyaOya; I wonder if they like games like they do."

He wilted, slouching. Asmo and Lucifer were always on his case about bad posture, but in the safety of his room he didn't care. "I wish it was them that came to Devildom instead. Then, I could show them TSL and we could have a marathon in my room and I could show them Mononoke Land, too!"

He shot up straight in his seat, as if coming to a realization. "But it's not like I'm gonna ask them, anyways! They're just some stupid humans who probably want to make a pact with me just to say that they got another high-ranking demon under their belts!

"Humans and demons can _never_ get along!"

That's right. They were human, and he was a demon who was _also_ an otaku on top of that. They were destined to be enemies!

_Besides, who can like me? I wouldn't want to know me if I was them, either._

From inside the tank, Henry 2.0 swam a bit as he looked at his handler in confusion.

Levi was shouting, so he must be angry about something.

So why did his eyes look so sad?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo lusted a bit after Simeon, because honestly at this point who hasn't? (Just some small Simeon appreciation because the angel deserves it)
> 
> Ah Bokuto, ever the friend maker...he's just too pure, and "even if you're on the opposite team, you can't help but root for him".
> 
> I am scared at what Kuroo and Solomon could get up to if they ever decide to team up. Keep them far, far, FAR away from each other, or Lucifer's gonna lose his mind!
> 
> Levi is such a dork, I love him so much. As a fellow shut-in otaku, I can't help but relate to him. Who's gonna help him out?
> 
> I'm debating making a Tumblr page for this fic so you all can come yell your excitement and theories at me there. I could post drawings I have there too, but I'm still on the fence about the idea. Let me know what you think!
> 
> Thanks for sticking around, and until Chapter 11!

**Author's Note:**

> Beel is Marshmallow because he's a Soft Boi, too pure for this world. 10/10 protect him.
> 
> [Impact of Kuroo + Bokuto on the Demon Brothers - Day 1]
> 
> \- Satan read a book on knock knock jokes so he could tell Bokuto some.  
> \- Levi is now rewatching his Lord of the Rings collection, and itching to share conspiracy theories. He also revisits iconic vines that butter his biscuits.  
> \- And yes, Lucifer did look up what "meme" meant before he retired for the night. He may have a few strands of gray hair due to the added stress that was applied to him in the form of Kuroo's teasing.
> 
> I hope you stick around to see this series to completion, and chapter 2 is in the works!


End file.
